Awakening
by AmandaCullen84
Summary: Bella leaves Forks after refusing Jacob's marriage proposal and moves in with Alice at her apartment in Chicago. In her journey to find herself she meets Alice's cousin Edward Masen and together they awaken a love new to them both.
1. Leaving Forks

**This is my first fanfiction, it is all human. Please review it and let me know what you think!**

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**BPOV**

I'd get used to the crowds, eventually, I reminded myself silently as I pushed my way through the sidewalk traffic and into Alice's building.

When I called her 3 weeks ago it started a whirlwind I had not expected. It was the middle of the night when I listened nervously as her phone rang and rang in mt ear. I'd a;most given up when she finally answered.

"Hello? Bella? What's wrong, it's after 1 am," her voice was thick with sleep but she still was aware of the time.

" I need to get out of Forks," my words threatened to blur into an incomprehensible mass if I didn't control myself, "Jacob asked me to marry him, I said no. I'm at Charlie's for now but I can't stay here."

"Oh Bella! I thought you loved Jacob," Alice asked seeming truly shocked.

"I thought I did too. I just couldn't say yes. I don't know what I'm going to do Alice," I whispered, a tear sliding down my cheek.

"Move to Chicago with me," Alice was suddenly fully awake, "I've missed you since I moved here, you could teach photography or just find yourself. I wouldn't expect you to pay for anything, Mom had already set up my guest room with you in mind."

It had only taken me a week to get my things packed and shipped after that conversation. It was always tense getting my things from the small apartment Jacob and I had shared. He begged me not to go on the last day and I almost broke down. Jacob could make me happy, and I knew that, I did. He was loving and kind and made sure I had everything I could want but my love for him just wasn't strong enough. It wasn't the kind of love I could marry for. I heard him break down as I shut the door and I knew that the sound of it would leave a scar on my heart for the rest of my life. I hoped Jacob could move on, his warm heart deserved so much better than I could give him.

I said my goodbyes to Charlie and promised to visit as often as I could. Then I drove to the Cullens' house. It had been about a year since Alice had moved to Chicago but I still came here often. Carlisle and Esme were like my second parents. I loved them dearly. I needed a place to keep my truck, I didn't think I would need it in Chicago, and they had offered their garage. I pulled into the familiar tree-lined drive and a sigh escaped my lips as I felt the weight of my life being lifted. I parked the truck beside Emmet's monstrous Jeep and wondered when I would listen to it roar to life again. I walked up to the house to find Esme so she could drive me to the airport.

"Hello, Bella!" Esme's voice sounded like bells to me.

"Hi Esme, thanks for letting me keep the truck here, I really appreciate it," I said sincerely.

"Well, with Emmet living with his new wife Rosalie and Alice in Chicago, we have room. Are you ready to go?" She asked.

I looked out the window at the gentle rain falling on the green that I had come to love in my years here, and somehow, I knew I was ready to move on.

"Yes, I really think I am."

With those last words I left Forks.


	2. Confusion

**Bare with me as I build the story up. It will pick up I promise!!**

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I smiled at the doorman as he held the door open for me.

"Miss Swan," he tipped his hat.

I smiled. I went to the elevator and road it up to our floor. I fumbled around in my bag for my keys as the doors lid open and I stepped out. I managed to unlock the door without tripping or dropping anything and sighed to finally be home. The color themes here were similar to the house in Forks. Everything was neutral, yet warm. Our furniture was overstuffed and a beautiful shade of pale brown. I threw my bag onto the desk Alice had allowed me to put in the corner of the living room and left my shoes beside it.

"Alice? Alice, are you home?"I yelled.

"Back here Bella," a pixie voice called from the back of the apartment.

I stretched and then walked through the living room and passed the kitchen to get to the hallway. Alice's room was the last room on the left and I could see her shadow so I headed that way.

"How was work," I asked her. She had been given the chance to be an interior designer on a huge project with her Uncle's law firm.

"Uncle Edward loved everything I had to show him of course. His partners were just as impressed," Alice's smile lit up her face.

"I'm so glad!"I all but squealed. It was so nice of her Uncle to give her this helping hand. Even though Esme's sister had been dead for many years.

"I just wish his son had been as approving," her brow furrowed and her expression darkened slightly.

"Your cousin?" I wasn't sure I remembered her or Esme talking about him before.

"Yes, you've met him before. It was sometime ago though, he came to stay with us the summer of our freshman year. The year his mother, Elizabeth died,"her voice turned to a whisper as she spoke of her Aunt.

I sifted through my memories, wondering how I could have forgotten something like that, and was slapped between the eyes with the memory of _his _face.

The boy in my memories was 16 and his auburn hair stuck up in every direction, but it didn't take away from his beauty, it actually added to it. His skin was pale and his green eyes struck out at you in contrast. He was tall and, though thin, well built. He had been brooding all summer and I had been completely infatuated with him.

"Edward lives here?" I breathed, realizing I should have connected the dots when she had said she worked for her Uncle Edward.

"Ah you do remember him,"Alice chuckled, "he does live here. I could take you with me tomorrow if you like, perhaps I could introduce you."

"Ok," I agreed, watching the wheels spin in Alice's mind. "What are you doing for dinner?"

"I'm probably just going to order in and eat in my room. I have some sketches to finish and I need to get cloth samples together for tomorrow, you can join me if you like," Alice rambled, her back to me.

"No that's ok, you seem like you have a full schedule tonight. I'll just make something then stay in for the night, it was a long day," I suddenly realized how tired I really was.

"Suit yourself,"she replied, "be up by seven, I'll lay your clothes out for you and I expect no arguments."

I sighed. I should have expected as much when I agreed to go,"Fine."

Her laugh trickled after me as I walked toward the kitchen in search of dinner. I wasn't in the mood to cook, so I just had a quick turkey sandwich.

When I finished, I put my dirt dishes in the dishwasher and decided to take a shower. I walked to my room and grabbed my pajamas, a pair of grey sweats and a very worn t-shirt, one of Jacob's favorites, would I ever escape the reminders of the pain I caused him? I bit my lip and switched the light on as I entered the bathroom.

When I woke to the harsh call of my alarm clock at six that morning, I almost turned it off and continued to sleep. Reluctantly, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I could smell coffee coming from the kitchen and my love for Alice grew. I grabbed a cup, thankful she was in her room getting ready, and looked for the clothes Alice had set out for me.

I nearly choked on my coffee when I saw them. The skirt was a deep red and would come just above my knees, the shirt was a charcoal grey and buttoned up the front. The worst part,however, was the shoes. They would surely be the death of me. They were the same deep red as the skirt and had a thick high heel on them, at least she hadn't tried to give me a spiked heel.

I snatched the clothes and padded down the hall to get ready for the day.

"Alice can't we walk a little slower," I complained.

"Keep up Bella, I don't want to be late," Alice scolded.

We had left on time but traffic had taken any extra time we had given ourselves. I cursed my shoes as we clicked down the hallway.

The entrance to the Masen law firm was beautiful. The dark wood giving it an air of strength without being overpowering. There was a very pretty woman behind the front desk. Her strawberry blonde hair framed her face wonderfully.

"Hello Tanya,"Alice spoke, "Are we late, traffic was a nightmare."

"No, Mr. Masen and his son are waiting for you in his office," Tanya chuckled.

Alice turned the corner with, her usual grace, as I struggled to keep up. She pushed open the heavy door marked Edward Masen Sr. and we walked inside.

I tried to hide my sharp intake of breath, but when Edward's head snapped up and our eyes met, I knew I hadn't succeeded. His green eyes cut through me in the most amazing way. His hair was the same as it had been that summer, his face had become slightly more angular giving him the look of a man. His tailored suit fit him snugly enough for me to know he made use of a gym somewhere in this town. The only thing about him that had really changed was that he now had dark shadows under his eyes, as though he rarely slept.

"Uncle Edward, I'd like you to meet Isabella Swan, she's my best friend," Alice waved in my direction, with her usual beaming smile.

"Nice to meet you Isabella," Mr. Masen stood reaching his large hand out for mine.

"Call me Bella," I returned his smile.

He was just as handsome as Edward. His hair was darker, no signs of grey yet. He was the same height as his son and they shared the same shocking eyes. He seemed warm and kind.

"This is my son Edward," he gestured to where Edward sat beside him.

Edward stood and my head started to swim. _Control yourself Bella, _I scolded myself.

"We've met before," his voice was like velvet, he reached his hand out to me.

"Yes we have," I agreed, taking his hand, his firm grip almost more than I could handle in my current state.

Alice showed her Uncle endless sketches of the boardroom and the reception area as Edward and I looked on. The tension between us was palpable. I tried to sneak glances at him out of the corner of my eye, only to find that he was staring at me unabashedly, stealing my nerve. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. Why was he staring at me?

In the middle of the presentation he abruptly stood up and stalked out of the room. I looked after him more confused than I had been. Alice looked at me and I shrugged.

"He is moody,"Mr. Masen said, "try not to take it personally."

"Could I get a glass of water?" I asked, needing to get away from his scent.

"Yes, of course, just go out my door and take the first door on your right, help yourself to whatever you want," Mr Masen smiled at me in a charmingly crooked way and I couldn't help but smile back.

I followed his directions and found myself in a what appeared to be the staff kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat in an armchair in the corner. I sighed and put my head in my hands. What had just happened? Had I offended Edward in some way? He'd certainly left in a huff. .

It was then my thoughts were interrupted by footsteps that had stopped right in front of me.

"Bella," his velvet voice was unmistakable.

I left my head where it was for a few seconds, debating pros and cons of responding. Eventually I slowly lifted my face to him.

"I do remember you. Your face is the one memory from that summer that has any clarity," he looked at the floor as he spoke to me. Suddenly reminding me of as small boy.

I didn't know how to respond and I could feel the heat in my checks. I glared fiercely at my shoes.

"Will you be working with Alice from now on?" he asked.

"I don't know,"I admitted. Though, I thought I was about to be recruited.

His fingers gently brushed my hair and he said,"I will request it, she won't refuse me."

As I tried to convince him not to request it, he turned and left. It seemed we were at the beginning of a very confusing relationship.


	3. Memories

**Ok guys, let me know how you are liking it so far! In this chaoter I delve a little more into Edward's past involving Bella. The story is picking up a bit. I'm goingto try to update daily, it will probably be in the evening or later because I have 3 kids. If you like it please let me know! I would love some input!**

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When we finally left and were in the safety of Alice's Porsche, I relaxed, trying to shove the strange incident to the back of my mind. I shut my eyes and leaned back into the seat. What on earth was he doing, frustrating man. I came here to get away from hurting someone I loved, not find someone to replace him. I found myself becoming angry at Edward, who did he think he was? Did he think he could just dazzle his way into my life? Was he even trying to, I mean, he did leave in a huff. Why did he have to be so damn confusing.

" So, I was asked by my Uncle to bring you along with me from now on," Alice said keeping her eyes straight ahead.

"Just how did I become such an important part of this project," I groaned.

"Well, it would seem, Edward would like you to be there. Strange as it seems, he acted pretty weird today. I'm a little confused by it myself, but I would love to have you with me,"she smiled and I knew she meant it.

"Fine," I sighed, "I'll do it for you."

"Oh, this will be fun," Alice squealed ,forcing a small smile to form on my lips.

"Loads of fun," I teased her.

"What time will I need to be up tomorrow?" I asked, hoping she would let me dress myself if I didn't mention clothes.

"Well, we won't need to be there until later, so about 9," She replied as we pulled into the garage for our building.

_Good, no mention of clothes_-I thought to myself.

"You should change your clothes and meet me in the living room in 20 minutes," she said, opening our door, "We need to take you shopping if you are going to go with me to work everyday."

I groaned very audibly. This was not going to be fun.

I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, thank goodness it wasn't winter yet. I could just imagines the injuries I would endure at the hands of Alice and her death trap shoes, like I didn't have enough problems with not tripping on my own. I could just imagine the bags of clothes I would be bringing home, Alice always went overboard, but it was part of why I loved her. Reluctantly, I strode into the living room.

We strolled arm in arm into a large mall. Alice was good at distracting me from what she was actually doing through years and years of practice. She let loose an never ending stream of chit chat to hopefully keep me from telling her no.

"So what exactly did your Uncle say to you?" I asked, interrupting her.

"He just said that Edward had requested you be brought on, he thought I needed an assistant,"she shrugged her shoulders as she spoke.

"Really, an assistant? You would have thought by his reaction that he didn't like me a whole lot, or that I had stabbed him with a pencil or something," I rolled my eyes at the thought of his fit this morning.

"Edward is, well, hard to understand sometimes. He can be a little moody," Alice giggled a little mournfully.

"No kidding," I laughed, "What is his deal."

I looked at Alice and saw the flash in her eyes, like I had struck a nerve, a raw nerve.

"He has his reasons. I won't discuss it, it isn't my place," she snapped.

"Alice, I'm sorry, honestly. I didn't mean to upset you, I was only kidding," I touched her shoulder and felt her relax a little.

"I'm sorry I snapped, it's just," she paused searching for the words, " he is justified. Trust me."

I let her return to simple conversation about the weather and the various photography projects I could do in the city. I hadn't used my camera much since I arrived, maybe it was a good idea to start. I didn't want to waste the photography classes I had taken, after all. I tucked the conversation away in the back of my mind for references later. I let Alice buy whatever she wanted, I would sort through it later and hope she had gotten me at least one pair of pants.

By the time we headed home I was exhausted and had enough for three women to dress for about a year. I lugged the bags up to the apartment and went to work putting them away, so I wouldn't incur Alice's wrath. God forbid any piece of clothing be mistreated. At least they wouldn't be wrinkled.

As I stood in my huge closet, it was more like a room really, I thought of the summer Edward had been in Forks. I desperately wanted to remember _why _he was there. Esme had been sad, I remembered that much, but why? Edward had been so quiet while he was there, always keeping to himself or his piano, he played so beautifully, even then. I could picture him clearly in my mind, sitting at the black baby grand piano in the Cullen house. He would settle in and run his fingers lightly over the keys, almost in a loving way, then he would play. Most of the songs were so sad. Once, I had hidden in the corner of the room while he played. The song went from so sad a tear ran down my cheek, to sad but with something else mixed in. It was so beautiful and calming that I began to feel very sleepy. Right before I nodded off, I had been almost certain he looked at me and grinned in a crooked way.

The memory sent a chill down my spine, had he seen me? Back then my teenage mind had thought it was just a trick of my eyes, but now, I wasn't so sure. Teenage Edward seemed to look directly at me, his green eyes thawing, just slightly. I'm not even sure he had introduced himself to me that summer, but in this memory he seemed to enjoy my being there. If only I could remember why he was there! Damn, why hadn't I paid more attention.


	4. Sheet Music and Photographs

**This is a short-ish one, sorry guys. I will try to update one more time tonight! Come on leave me some reviews, don't make a girl beg ;)**

**Disclaimer I do not own any twilight related characters!!**

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The next morning, I took extra care getting ready, if I was going to be involved in this I wanted to make Alice look good, so I had to look good. I went to my closet and stood, sipping coffee, and surveyed the clothes. In the end I chose a pair of black wide leg dress pants and a dark green tank with a black jacket on top. I put my hair in a bun, which made me feel sort of like a librarian but it served it's purpose keeping my hair out of my face. I took out my rarely used make up kit and stared at it, not wanting to actually use it, for a minute. Then I chose a shade of green, to match my shirt, for my eyes, and an almost undetectable color for my lips. Satisfied with myself in the mirror, I smiled and walked out to meet Alice and get started for the day.

"Oh, Bella, you do look nice," she said, seeming pleasantly surprised.

"Well I had to have learned _something _from years of you dressing me"I laughed.

"Are we ready to go?" she asked.

"As ready as I'm going to be," I sighed.

Thankfully, the traffic wasn't as bad as it had been the day before and we got there early. Alice decided to give me a tour of the office. It was shared by Edward Senior, Edward Junior and four other lawyers. They seemed to be very good and in high demand.

"This is my Uncle's office,"Alice said pointing, "obviously you have seen inside of it."

We continued walking down the carpeted hallway, she showed me the offices of the other lawyers who worked with the Masens. All the office were the same, a few pictures of families, loved ones, pets, a big wooden desk, books on one side in a dark bookshelf. Nothing really special or out of the ordinary.

Then, we reached the end of the hall and Edward's office.

"This is Edward's office, he likes it the way it is,"Alice wrinkled up her nose as she opened the door, "I tried to get him to let me design a new one but he wouldn't have any of it."

I was impressed to say the least. The desk was a beautiful dark cherry, with simple lines, timeless,you were drawn to it in the center of the large room. He had the typical leather chair, but it was the only typical thing in the room. On one wall was an upright piano, my memories made we walk towards it. I let my fingers graze the top of the polished wood and noticed the hand written sheets of music. He obviously still played, I felt a tug in my chest and marveled at the odd feeling. He had a huge floor to ceiling bookshelf with much more than law books in it.

"Isn't it odd for a high power lawyer to have a piano in his office?" I asked, much to Alice;s amusement.

"Try telling him that, but do it from a distance if you value your hearing," she laughed her high pixie laugh.

I returned to my exploration, he had a wall of framed photographs that I assumed were just family pictures until I looked closer. Two immediately caught my attention, one, a boy holding a toy grenade in one hand, the other in a hook shape and his face twisted up in an almost evil sneer. The second, A woman in a full skirt leaning into a window with her legs spread eagle holding onto a man who was a dwarf. He liked Diane Arbus, my favorite photographer.

I felt another twinge in my chest.

" Good morning Edward!" I heard Alice exclaim from behind me.

" Hello Mary Alice," he said stiffly, belying the warm smile on his face.

"Good Morning, Mr. Masen," I said walking toward them.

"Good Morning Miss Swan," he said tersely.

His shortness took me by surprise, but I didn't let it show, I would play his game.

"Shall we go meet with you Uncle, Alice?" I walked passed him, totally ignoring his presence.

"Yes, maybe next time Edward will show you his Arbus collection more closely, since you are such an avid photographer," she tried to redirect the conversation to include Edward but he just crossed the room to his desk in silence.

We met with her Uncle and I helped her take measurements and keep track of what colors went in what room. Every once in a while Edward would make an appearance, standing across the room with his arms across his chest glaring at me. I cheerfully ignored him. Mr. Masen seemed pleased with the work Alice and I were doing, even though I was just a glorified notebook, I liked him, he seemed so warm and funny. He seemed to like me as well easing the tension in my shoulders until I was totally relaxed despite Edward's attempts to fluster me.

"Bella," Mr. Masen spoke my name, "Alice and I are having dinner at my home this evening, would you care to join us?"

He reached out and placed his arm around my shoulders as he spoke. Did I want to go, would Edward be there, I wasn't sure I could remain unaffected through an entire dinner of his glaring green eyes, no matter how striking they were. I looked to Alice, she was emphatically nodding yes behind Mr. Masens back. I sighed, I would have to endure it.

"I would love to Mr. Masen," I plastered a big smile on face as I saw Edward stalking off in the corner of my vision.

"Excellent, we will see you then," he smiled and strode confidently toward his own office.

"You will love it!" Alice grabbed my arms nearly bouncing up and down as she spoke, " the house is beautiful!"

"I'm sure I will love it," I spoke offhandedly listening to something else drifting from another corner of the building.

Edward was playing his piano, and I could have sworn it was the song from my memory.


	5. The Balcony

**My second upload of the day, well it's technically not the same day I guess LOL.**

**Thanks for the review mfrancesj!!**

**I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter. I know Edward is being extremely confusing but all will be explained in time!**

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_Why did you do this to yourself Bella, _I scolded myself as I showered and agonized over what Alice would make me wear. _Ugh, please don't let Edward be there,_ I slumped a little as I thought about it, of course he would be there. Why wouldn't he be? I straightened myself up and was determined to get through this night, no matter what Edward's mood might be. Maybe I could kill him with kindness, or freeze him out with my cold shoulder.

"Bella!" Alice called from down the hall.

"What," I tried not to sound like a whiny teenager.

"The shower shut off twenty minutes ago, you should be dry by now, Emmet would be dry by now if he let himself air dry. Do you plan on coming out here so you can get dressed," she sounded amused.

"In a minute," I yelled as I finished the last curl in my hair, then ran my fingers through it.

I had to control the nerves, I could do this. I didn't know what Edward's problem was but I would never find out if I continued to melt at the very sight of him. I was stronger than this or I thought I was.

"Your hair looks great Bella, her is your dress," she said handing me a bag on a hanger.

"Dress?" I questioned, biting my lip.

"Yes a dress but you'll like it, I promise." Alice's smile always disarmed me.

I took it and stumbled back to my room as only I could do sober. I pulled the plastic bag off of the dress, It was a deep muted purple. The sleeves were three-quarter length and it had an empire waist. It was cut just below the knee and had a v-neck. Alice was right, I loved it, it was casual and I could wear a pair of flats with it. She wouldn't be happy, but I didn't care. I smiled a little at the thought. I dressed quickly and looked at myself in the mirror, then, my cell phone rang.

"Hello,"I said, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Bells?" a familiar husky voice came from the other end.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I groaned, why was he doing this to himself.

"I miss you, come home, I don't know what I did, but I want to fix it," my chest felt like it would rip open at the sound of the thickness in his voice.

"Jake," I was trying to sound stern, "You can't fix it, it's not you, it's not even me. It's just not right."

"How can you say that Bella," he was losing the battle on hiding the hurt in his voice, "You love me, I know you do. Why isn't that right?"

"Jake, I do love you," I said softly, " I just don't love you enough. Don't make me do this to you, I can't take it."

"It's enough for me, I don't mind it, just come home. We can talk this out, I don't want to be without you!" I could hear the tears in his voice now and I knew I had to make it clear but I didn't want to do it.

"Jake, it's not enough for me. Your not enough for me. I'm not coming home. I don't want to be with you. I can't be with you. My love isn't strong enough to keep me there. Just leave me alone!"I'd done it, I heard his soft sob through the phone, the sound nearly stopping my heart in it's tracks.

As coldly as I could muster, I said goodbye and ignored his pleas not to hang up. The slap of my phone closing never sounded so completely shattering before. I could see Jake in my mind, sitting in his favorite leather armchair, the phone still to his ear, one hand in his long, thick, black hair, with tears streaming down his face. I sat down, afraid I might fall if I didn't. It crushed my spirit to know what I'd done to him but pretending it was enough wouldn't have done us any good either.

I stood up, brushed the wrinkles out of my dress with my hands, and walked slowly down the hall.

"Why do you have on flats?" Alice asked looking at my feet, her facial expression completely changing when she saw my face.

"Just let me have them tonight, please," the tone in my voice was enough, she nodded in agreement.

"What's wrong," she placed her hand on mine.

"Jake called, I don't want to talk about it, lets just go," I forced a small smile and we left.

We drove into a beautiful old neighborhood that Alice informed me was Wicker Park. I imagined that must have been important but didn't really know. We pulled up to a huge brick home. It looked like it must have been Victorian. It was beautifully detailed and looked to be three stories high,with a balcony on the highest floor. The front steps led to a small porch with a magnificent archway. The wrought iron fence must have been original and was well maintained. I was in total awe of the beauty of the house.

We walked up the steps and Alice rang the bell.

"Bella, Alice! Come in!" Mr. Masen smiled broadly.

The inside of the house was just as beautiful, The wood work was amazing in all it's detail. I was in love with this old house. Alice and Edward Senior talked as I followed them into the sitting room, I was to absorbed in the house to care what they were saying, maybe that was why I didn't notice Edward standing dangerously close to me. I was brought out of my inspection by my backside crashing into the high polished wood floor.

"Can't you at least watch where you are going,"Edward barked as he reached for my hand.

"I'm more than capable of helping myself up thank you,"I snapped, trying to right myself as gracefully as I could.

Alice and Mr. Masen looked at us both in shock.

"Bella are you ok," Alice asked walking over to me.

"Edward, that is no way to talk to a guest," Mr. Masen scolded Edward like a child.

"You're right, I apologize. Are you ok Miss Swan?" He asked cooly.

"Yes, Mr. Masen," I hissed.

Oh yes, this was going to be a wonderful night.

We got through dinner with Alice and Mr. Masen laughing and carrying on with little effort from Edward r myself, which was fine with me, the less I had to talk to anyone tonight the better. After everyone was finished Alice and her Uncle still sat talking of old memories and Dr. Cullen and Esme,. I wanted desperately to explore th house and get away from everyone.

"Mr. Masen," I spoke up.

Yes Bella, and please call me Anthony, it makes it easier, " he flashed his perfect smile and his green eyes sparkled.

"Anthony, would you mind if I explored your house," I was hoping he would say yes with no exceptions.

"Certainly, enjoy yourself, Alice told me you had a love of old houses and photography. Bring your camera next time."

I smiled and nodded and walked casually out of the room, once out of sight I leaned against the wall and heaved a sigh into the silence.

Edward had left the table sometime before and I hoped I wouldn't run into him as I climbed the staircase to the second floor. I stopped to look at family pictures as I walked. Baby Edward, teenage Edward, Edward and his father, Edward and Esme, Edward and an unfamiliar woman. Was this his mother? They certainly looked enough alike, she also strongly resembled Esme. I peered closely at the picture and was suddenly struck by a memory.

_Esme was sitting beside Edward on the piano bench. I was in my hiding place trying to hear him play again. It sounded like he was crying._

"_We all miss her Edward," she patted 16 year old Edward's back. _

"_You don't understand Esme, you weren't there,"he spoke through clenched teeth._

"_It wasn't anyone's fault and there is nothing you can do now. Mourn her but don't lose yourself to it," She hugged him to her then stood and walked out of the room._

_Edward made an awful crashing sound that resonated through the quiet room when he laid his head on the keyboard and wept for his dead mother._

It was like a slap to the face, he was sent to Forks that summer because his mother had died. How could I have forgotten, _stupid Bella. _They had never told me how she died. I had always assumed it was an accident of some kind, she was young, and relatively healthy as far as I knew. It was a sudden death. Everyone was hit hard by it. I continued to the landing at the top of the stairs. At the end f the hall was an open door so I decided to start there. In this room were various chairs and a couple of couches. Some book shelves, and a telescope. One of the walls was mostly ornate windows and, in the middle, a set of french doors that led to the balcony I had seen earlier. I opened the door, which creaked very loudly, and stepped into the moonlight. It was a wonderful night, cool but not cold , the sky was clear. I walked up to the edge f the balcony and leaned on the railing there. I breathed in the sweet fragrance of the night and was overwhelmed by sadness. The first tear ran down my cheek and I tried to stop myself but I couldn't.

Here in the dark on this wonderful balcony I couldn't hold in my frustration and sadness anymore. I was teetering dangerously on the edge of caving and going back to Forks. I couldn't stand to hurt Jake and he kept pushing me to do it. I didn't want to leave but I knew myself and I was so afraid he would eventually wear me down and I would go. I sobbed quietly on my forehead on the cool stone railing.

"Bella, what on earth are you doing out here," Edward hissed.

I turned to face him, my cheeks tear stained.

"Why do you care? Am I not allowed to be alone," I retorted and turned back to my former position.

"Just come inside, then cry all you want," he had lost a little of the edge in his voice.

"No," I was going to stand my ground.

It was then I noticed he had never crossed the threshold onto the balcony, he was still standing inside the open door.

"Please Bella, please just come inside," he reached toward me, still not moving, his eye almost pleading.

I couldn't stand to see the pleading there in his usually cold green eyes. Whether he hated me or not, I couldn't inflict pain on anyone, so I took a step toward him and put my hand in his. I was shocked to feel him jerk me forcefully inside and slam the door shut. I was amazed to see the glass still intact.

"What was that all about," he shouted in a hushed voice.

"None of your business, that's what," I shouted back.

"You are on my balcony, that makes it my business," he crossed his arms on his chest.

"It's not your balcony, it's your father's"I countered childishly.

"No, Bella, this is my home, my father lives in town in an apartment and likes to use my house for entertaining. I let him because it was once his," he spat out each word.

"Why do you care Edward, why are you pushing me," I threw my hands into the air.

"I don't know, I shouldn't care, but damn it I do. Just tell me why you were crying on my balcony, please," he looked at me as he spoke, and I believed him.

I hurriedly told Edward about Jacob. Skipping over details I didn't want to share with him and his hostility. He seemed to listen intently. When I finally told him about the phone call I received earlier, I broke down again. I hated myself for it. I looked weak in front of him and I didn't want to, I wiped at my tears angrily.

Then he completely surprised me.

He wiped one of my tears gently, with his thumb and put his hands on either side of my face. They were smooth and cool. It felt wonderful and I was suddenly very calm.

"Bella, don't cry. I didn't mean to make yo so uncomfortable. I just," he trailed off, mumbling something I couldn't hear.

He pulled me to him and held me there, my head on his chest, for a moment before letting me go and walking away. Leaving me standing in the room alone.


	6. Flashburns and Frostbite

**Ok guys this is SUPER short!! Sorry. It just felt like a natural break. I'm working on another chapter right now. Let me know what you think!! **

**Thanks to justm for the review!!**

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The drive home was quiet, Alice knew I wanted to be left alone, of course she thought Jacob was the only thing bothering me. I wasn't about to tell her what a weirdo her cousin was being. She retreated to her room when we got to the apartment, partially because it was late and we had to be up early tomorrow to oversee the beginnings of the deconstruction of certain areas, I was grateful. I flicked on the light when I entered my bed room and sat on the edge of my bed. I exhaled and let my head hang forward trying to will myself to be tired. All this stress had me wired. While I sat in the silence I thought about the encounter with Edward. What was his deal? He was always so hot and cold I was beginning to get flash burns and frostbite. He freaked out and wouldn't even come onto the balcony, that was so strange. He was so arrogant but he was afraid of a balcony? I stood, giving up the ghost of trying to relax. I slipped of my shoes, then the dress. I threw on an old t-shirt and some sweats. I laid down and tried to sleep, my last thoughts were of Edward.

_Edward was sitting at his piano, reaching out to me. I was confused hadn't I just laid down in my own bed a few minutes ago.? Edward smiled a warm crooked smile and I knew I must be dreaming. Alright, maybe I can control my dream Edward. I smiled and took a seat on the piano bench beside him. He traced the outline of my jaw so gently with his cool fingers that I began to wonder if it was a dream. I shivered. He turned to the piano and began to play the familiar song, it was just as beautiful as the first time I'd heard it. _

"_Do you remember this song Bella," he leaned close to me and spoke softly in my ear._

_I nodded,it was all I could do, the words were caught in my throat._

"_I saw you in that corner," he paused and I could feel his breath on my skin, "I played this song for you. I wrote it for you. The song IS you."_

_My eyes grew wide, I didn't believe him, dream or not Edward didn't really seem to like me._

"_The sadness in the song is me," he explained moving so close his lips brushed my ear as he whispered, "the rest of it is you. It's how we sound together. It's how I want to sound."_

_My face snapped towards this strange Edward, I tried to deny it but he wound his fingers in my hair and pulled my face to his. In the moment that his lips roughly touched mine, I knew, not only was this a dream, but I never wanted to wake up._

I sat straight up from my fitful sleep drenched in sweat. The hair on my neck stood up as I realized I could still feel his touch. I rubbed at my lips, trying to get it to go away. My breathing was ragged and my chest ached from the realness of the dream. Then my alarm clock blared at me. I didn't feel like I slept at all. This was going to be a long day.


	7. The Darkness

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Ok, here is the second update, as promised! This one is a little long LOL. It gets kind of intense, you've been warned. Let me know what you're thinking. Also would any of you be interested in a chapter from EPOV at some point?

As always I do not own any Twilight related material.

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By the time I got in the car with Alice, I was in a foul mood. My head ached from lack of sleep. I did not want to be here. I sighed.

"Bella, what is wrong with you today?"Alice asked.

"I just didn't sleep very well Alice, sorry, I'm a little grumpy," I laugh inwardly, a _little _grumpy, ha!

" Well cheer up, I'm only going to keep you for a couple of hours. I'm going shopping for fabrics and paint today and I know how much you hate shopping. So I'm not going to make you come with me," she turned to me as she shut off the car.

"Thank you," I said with relief filling every syllable.

I followed Alice around the office, waiting for Edward to inevitably show up and glare at me, but he hadn't showed up yet. Part of me was disappointed, thinking maybe Edward in my dream and real Edward were somehow the same person. I strained to her the notes from the piano over the din of the workers, but that was absent as well. I secretly wanted to sneak to his office just to see if he was avoiding me, but Alice would want to know what I was doing and I didn't want to share this with her at the moment.

"Ah, almost done Bella," she sang, "Just my uncle's office left to check then you are free!"

"Where is your uncle anyway," I wondered just noticing his absence as well.

"He went to New York. He didn't think he should be in our way as we redid his office. Plus, Edward usually runs this office most of the time anyway," Alice shrugged jotting thing in her notebook as she spoke.

The workers were doing an excellent job, I was sure Alice's demeanor had something to do with that. She treated them well, she joked with them and treated them like friends. Happy workers were good workers. I also noticed she was paying more attention to a tall, blonde, man. He looked to be about our age and had a southern accent, his name was Jasper. She danced even more than usual when she was around him, he brought a sparkle to her eyes. I liked the effect he had on her, like a happy pill. Not that she needy to be happier. I sulked in the doorway as she chatted with him. I watched her face light up and then she hugged him with as much force as she had, she looked child-sized next to him. She pranced towards me and grabbed me by the arm to rush me out of the room.

"What are you doing Alice," I laughed.

"Jasper and I have a date tonight!" she poured her excitement out.

"Oh! I'm so happy for you, I wondered if that wasn't where that relationship was going," I nudged her in the ribs lightly and she giggled.

"You'll be alone for the rest of the day, does that bother you? I know you came out here for support but," I interrupted her mid sentence.

"Alice, go, have fun," I hugged here and she squeezed me back, "I'm just going to get a cab home. You go do your shopping and I'll see you later."

I watched her walk away smiling and waving, not sure if she was waving at me or Jasper, and once she was out of sight, against my better judgment, I turned towards Edward's office.

The lights were on and the door was crack just slightly. I walked as quietly as I could up to the door to peak in, no Edward. I wrung my hands together, thinking of going in. What would he do if he found me in his office? Again, my better judgment lost the fight. I pushed the door open and walked inside.

Everything was as it was before, except the desk lamp was on and a pencil was left in the middle of the desk. I sat down in the chair and looked at the calendar on the desk top. Today was circled, in a big black circle. Normally I wouldn't have thought anything of it, he was a lawyer it could very well have been a case or deadline, but today neither Edward or his father was here and I felt like that couldn't be a coincidence.

Then it hit me like an ice hunk, maybe this had to do with his mother. I wondered if I could fin her obituary in the archives at the library, then I felt guilty for thinking it. Yet, despite that guilt, I stood and walked towards the door knowing my legs would carry me to the library.

The cab ride was short and I began to wonder if I would be able to go through with this as I walked up the steps to the library doors. The reference desk was blissfully free of other library goers so I wouldn't have the chance to change my mind in a line.

"Hello Miss," the older woman said in a hushed tone, " How may I help you?"

"I want to look at the newspaper archives from 9 years ago, around today's date," I tried to sound sure.

"Yes just follow me and I will show you to the room to view them," She walked and barely made a sound.

I followed the librarian to a small room with one uncomfortable looking plastic chair and the machine to view the archives on. She slid a film on the spool, showed me how to look through it, then walked out of the room.

I began searching, for anything that said Masen in it. I looked for about an hour before I saw anything, then I immediately wished I had left it alone. The Headline read, "Elizabeth Masen, wife of powerful Chicago lawyer Edward Masen, falls to her death, suicide suspected".

I gasped, not sure I wanted to read further, suddenly feeling as though I was violating Edward's privacy, but I continued.

_Elizabeth Masen, wife of Edward Masen, fell to her death from the second floor balcony of their family home. She was thirty-nine years old and a prominent force in Chicago society. Her son placed the call to 911 shortly after she fell. Sadly, she died on the scene. Police suspect suicide. _

There was a picture of Edward and his father, looks of horror on their faces and Edward looking half crazed, watching the ambulance drive away. I sat just staring at it for a long time. Edward had been there when she fell, had he seen it? Is that why he refused to go on the balcony? That made sense, if he had seen her throw herself off the balcony I could understand his refusal to come out onto it. I felt awful for him. If I had seen Renee do something like that I doubt I would retain my sanity. I rubbed my arms with my hands trying to chase away the cold feeling. Then I looked at the date on the article, it had happened today. That's why they hadn't been at the office. Alice had known and had protected their privacy and I had violated it.

I needed to tell Edward I knew.

I caught a cab home, then changed my clothes. I didn't even pay attention to what I threw on, I could have had on neon orange pants and not noticed. I put my hair in a pony tail and caught another cab, thank goodness for my stash for cab fair. I gave them the address, which I had remembered from the night before, and sat back to wait. It was times like this I wished I had brought my truck. I watched as the buildings changed and it was obvious we were in a residential area. Finally, the cab began to slow down and stop.

"Keep the change," I tossed the money at him.

I should have had the driver wait, but if Edward wasn't here I intended on waiting for him until Alice called looking for me. I didn't know what he drove, but there was a silver Volvo in the driveway, if it was his he must not have been home long because it hadn't even made it to the garage. Would I be interrupting something private? I didn't care. I wasn't sure why I was exposing myself in this way but I didn't feel right about what I had done and I had never been god about keeping a secret.

I bit my lip, hard, as I rang the bell.

I waited for what seemed like forever and almost walked away, but then I heard footsteps and the lock moving.

"Miss Swan?" he looked bewildered.

He was dressed casually in light colored jeans and a dark blue, cotton, long sleeved shirt. His hair was messier than normal, and I noticed he was running his hand through it as I looked at him, almost in a nervous way.

"Can I come in," I asked, a bit of desperation in my voice.

"My father isn't here, he went back to his apartment in New York," he said, looking passed me as if he was looking for someone else, probably Alice.

"I'm not here to see him," I pushed.

"Very well then," He opened the door wide and gestured for me to come in.

I followed him into the sitting room we had been in before and watched as he sat down in a high-back chair. I began to pace the room like a caged lioness.

"Bella," he said an eyebrow raised, "why are you here?"

"I did something today, something I am not proud of," I put my hand up to keep him form interrupting my momentum.

"I remembered why you were sent to Forks, I was curious. I went to the library and looked up some information and I instantly regretted it. Edward, I am so sorry, and I feel as though I have violated your privacy," I watched his expression darken as he began to realize what I meant, "I know what happened on this day the year you came to my town. I know how your Mother died."

I could have sworn he growled, his arms were crossed tightly to his chest, his fierce green eye were boring holes in me.

"I'm sorry," I begged.

He stood so slowly it was surreal. I was frightened. It was stupid of me to think this would go any other way. I watched as he moved toward me, his expression not changing. When he got close to me I could feel his anger radiating from his body. His eyes were so intense I had to look away. That is when I felt his fingers on my chin, cool even in his anger, he pulled my face to his and forced me to look in his eyes.

"What do you _think _you know," he hissed.

"I, uh, well," I stuttered, "your mother killed herself. Threw herself from the balcony."

I let my eyes drift toward the stairs until I felt his fingers increase the pressure on my face ever so slightly.

"You don't have any idea what really happened here,"he seethed.

He grabbed my hand with his free one and jerked me towards the stairs. I obediently followed, I had brought this upon myself and I would let him say his piece. I tried to be braver than I felt. We reached the top of the stair to the second floor and he pulled me toward the familiar room. In the daylight it was beautiful, open and full of light. He pulled me inside and let my hand fall to my side.

He stalked to the french doors and flung them open, the sound they made hitting the house made me flinch. He stood there, framed in the door, the light playing is in hair and anger playing on his lips, looking at me.

"You want to know what happened, well, I'll tell you. The story no one knows but my family," he quickly crossed to me and pulled me towards the door.

"I was sixteen at the time," he began, "my mother had a problem that no one wanted to address. She was addicted to pills, pills of all types. The drug for the high society woman. It was beginning to take it's toll on her until we finally told her she had to quit. She didn't want to go to rehab, too many people would have known. So she tried to do it on her own and it worked,for a while," the clouds in his eyes grew more intense, " The first time she fell off the wagon, we forgave her, she was only human after all, then there was the second time, the third time. The night I came home to find her here standing out there," he pointed to the rail I had been leaning on before, "I was standing in the middle of this room and spotted the not, I quickly knew what she was about to do. I called her name, she looked at me over her shoulder, and tole me, Edward, go back inside. I didn't I begged her to come off the rail. When I had I thought I had calmed her I went to her. I reached for her hand and she smiled, then I knocked her leg by mistake and I watched in horror as my mother lost her balance on that rail. I tried to grab her, any part of her, but she fell, and I was the one who pushed her."


	8. Save Me

**Ok guys, sorry I am updating so late in the day, but life called LOL. A warning this chapter has some pretty intense moments in it. **

**I am LOVING the revies, thanks everyone!! **

**As always, I don't own any of the Twilight related stuff!**

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There are times in life when silence, though not the best answer, is the only response you can give.

I looked up at him, he was still staring out the door, his face was contorted with pain. He must have been running the scene through his head, over and over. A heaviness settled over me, what had I done? In an effort to cleanse myself of guilt and I had made him relive his.

When he finished telling me what happened he had let my hand fall back to my side. The distance between us was minimal yet it could have been an ocean, he definitely couldn't like me now. Suddenly I was overcome with the need to touch him, to comfort him. Though his face was a hard mask of bitterness and shame I could see the tears forming in his sorrow-filled eyes. He'd comforted me in this room I wanted to do it for him now.

Tentatively, I reached for his face, not knowing how he might react in his agitated state. As my hand drew closer it shook even more, he still wasn't aware of my movement. His face felt cold to my fingertips, the skin rough from stubble, I let my hand slide gently onto his face and waited for his reaction. Slowly, his face turned towards mine, the anger still apparent on it though he didn't try to move my hand. We stood like this for an unknown amount of time, linked together by touch.

Without warning, he wrapped both of his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. I didn't fight him, he crushed me to his chest and I accommodated him, trying to fit myself to him. He leaned his tall frame down to bury his face against my neck and I struggled to reach him better. One of his arms released it's stony grip from my waste and yanked the hair tie out of my hair, I gasped as it tugged at my hair. I felt his fingers on my scalp then they turned into fists full of my hair.

I looked up at him or he forced me to, I was no longer sure who was in control or if either of us really were. The tears that had only been a thought before, were now streaming down his cheeks, my heart lurched in my chest as I wiped his tears from his face. His eyes threatened to swallow me whole and I had to look away.

"Look at me Bella," he whispered harshly.

My eyes met his, just as his lips met mine. I was completely astonished by the feel of him, I didn't close my eyes and he didn't either. The intensity heightened by the flare in the green light staring back at me. The ground left my feet and I realized he had picked me up and wrapped my legs around him. It no longer mattered what had brought us to this point, just that we were there.

He struggled to walk out of the room with me still attached to him , my hands relishing the feel of his hair and my lips grazing his jaw. We made it down the hall and into a room I hadn't seen the other night, instantly I knew it was his bedroom, only vaguely aware that I didn't know how far this would go.

Deep blue cotton crashed in around me as we fell onto the large bed. Edward had shed his shirt at some point and I quickly took in his pale beautiful body before he was linked to me again. My hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they ran up and down the lean muscles of his back, pulling him closer to me as my mind scream _stop._ He felt so _right _here with me a never ending tangle of arms and legs, but I knew if I let it continue I would regret it. This was desperation on his part and it would lead to nothing but heartache for me. Yet, I didn't stop him when he urgently pressed his lips to mine, I had to pull apart from him. I couldn't let myself do this.

"Edward, stop," I panted, "Edward."

I wasn't sure he hadn't heard me or if he had ignored me when he tugged my shirt up enough to expose my stomach and ran his fingers over me, he was making this very hard and I was certain he knew it.

"Edward, please," I sighed.

Edward pulled back from me enough that he had stopped but not enough that I could get up. The sadness was more prominent on his face.

"I have to go, Alice will be waiting for me. We can't do this, not this way," I couldn't look at him.

"It's dark now, call Alice, stay with me," I could see the pleading teenager in his eyes, "please, don't make me be here, in this house, alone tonight."

I watched as his shoulders slumped and his tears began to fall onto my shirt, how could I say no? He was just a lost boy now, tomorrow he may be cold Edward again but tonight, tonight he was a hurting lost soul. Even if I would pay for it tomorrow, I had already decided I would stay.

"Ok, I'll stay," I cupped his face with my hand, "just let me go call Alice in private."

The hall was quiet, but I wanted to go back to the balcony room so I could be out of hearing range of Edward, I found it easily. Alice's phone rang three times before she answered it, which was odd for her.

"Hello," she whispered into her phone.

"Alice? Why are you being so quiet," I asked.

"Jasper is asleep on our couch, he must have been tired, he didn't even make it ten minutes into the movie," she giggled, " Bella, where are you anyway."

"I'm at Edward's," I said sheepishly.

"What?" she yelled as I jerked the phone away from my ear, "What are you doing there, today is not a good day to be there."

"I know that now, Alice, I won't be home. I'm staying here with him," I knew if I asked she would tell me to leave so I told her.

"You shouldn't, you should come home. I'm coming to get you,"I heard Alice's keys in the background.

"Alice, he ASKED me to stay. He doesn't want to be alone, are you really going to force him to be?" I hoped this would stop her.

"He asked you to, really? Well, stay then but you call me if you need to come home,"she still sounded unsure but had at least accepted it.

We said our goodbyes and I found my way back to Edward's room. He had turned a soft light on and had laid out a shirt and yoga pants, that were obviously left behind by someone but smelled like laundry soap. I stripped off my own clothes, neatly folding them, then placing them on a chair before I pulled on the clothes he had left for me. I wondered where he had gone until I heard a door squeak open from the other side of the room. Steam rolled out of it, it must have been a bathroom.

Edward's bed was large and the frame was sturdy dark-stained pine. It looked almost antique, I enjoyed the charm of it. His blankets, pillows, and sheets were all a deep rich blue, I felt cold so I crawled under them while I waited for him to emerge from the bathroom. Feelings of confusion tried to raise to the surface of my mind but I beat them back, I would deal with them later. I buried my face in one of his pillows, breathing in his scent, it was strangely sweet, yet still masculine. It calmed me, my arms and legs began to feel warm and tingly, sleep threatened to engulf me so I turned over and sat up. Just in time to see him walk into the room in black sweatpants that were pulled up to just his hips and no shirt. I stifled my sigh, _you're here to support him,_ I thought to myself.

Without a word he turned out the light and crawled into the bed next to me. The full length of Edward was pressed against me, his strong arms wrapped around me, the fingers of one hand gently tangled in my hair.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Edward, I'm sorry I came here today and caused you so much pain," I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

"Don't be, you didn't cause anything, and I deserve it all," his voice regained a hint of the bitterness.

"You can't mean that, I don't believe that," he pressed closer to me as I spoke to him in the dark.

"Please, just lay with me, I can't bare talking about it more," his words made the tears spill over no longer under my control.

"Ok," I kissed his fingers gently, wiping my tears at the same time.

I stayed awake until his breathing became even and deep, then I tried to pull away from him so I could sleep, but he held fast to me. I gave up and snuggled back into him, tilting my head so I could feel his chin on my forehead. Whether he had meant to or not, I was now becoming his, and it terrified me because this man beside me, _this _Edward wasn't really Edward. As I shut my eyes I heard something slip from Edward's mouth in his sleep. Three simple words that would change everything for me.

" Save me Bella."


	9. Boundaries

**Alright guys, sorry this is later at night than usual but I was out with a friend :)**

**I'm trying to be sure I catch all the typos so if I miss a few, I spologize, I try to get better at it as I go.**

**Thanks for all the reviews andthe favorites!!! I am so happy you are liking my story!**

**As always I don't own any of the Twilight related material!**

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The next morning I woke before the sun came up to find the bed empty, a note on his pillow.

Bella,

I have left a clean towel in the bathroom for you along with clothes Alice dropped off for you this morning. Take your time, we can leave whenever we want.

Edward

My legs hung over the side of the bed, I stretched, allowing myself to feel the stiffness be released from my fingers to my toes. I had slept well, better than I could ever remember. I almost didn't want to start the day, just crawl back into bed and hide from the change I knew was coming. When he had asked me to save him in his sleep, so quietly, it had pushed me over the edge. How could you love someone you barely knew, I didn't have the answer, yet here I was.

I was sure of only a few things in my life, now I could add to that list that no matter how he may act towards me this morning, I was absolutely in love with Edward Masen. The real Edward, the one hiding behind the mask of irritable melancholy. The one who had asked me to save him from himself. I would be patient, he would push me away, fight me with all his tools of solitude, yet I would persist, I would be there. Somewhere deep in that shell was my Edward, the one in my dream, this was just a ghost of his past and he could be freed from it.

I sighed. I would have to face him at some point, now was as good as any time to get on with it. I walked to the bathroom, his scent strong in the room, and marveled at the shower. It was huge, it had three shower heads and the glass doors were frosted only from about halfway down. I started the water and allowed it to warm up, I read his note again, running my fingers over the beautiful script, wondering if he would ever write my name in a lovingly way.

I was actually quite amazed that Alice hadn't made me come with her this morning. Edward must have intercepted her, as I was never even aware she had been water felt delicious on my skin as I stepped into the shower. I used the time to build up my determination, telling myself he would not scare me off. By the time I was dressed, I was ready to wear a mask of my own if need be and I was almost certain it would be. I smoothed out my black tweed skirt and checked the buttons my matching jacket, time to find Edward.

He wasn't hard to find, the smell of coffee served as a trail to him, I stood outside the kitchen door for a few seconds, inhaled deeply, then walked in.

"Good Morning," he smiled, offering me a cup of coffee, "I didn't know how you liked it so I just made it like I do my own."

"It's perfect," I replied, sipping and wondering when the change would occur, hoping I was wrong.

"I will be driving you into work today. I sent Alice home, I didn't want to wake you," he looked intently into his coffee as he spoke, "you looked so peaceful, it almost hurt to get up myself."

My heart began to beat so loudly my ears hurt. I had expected him to be cold instantly this morning, I hadn't expected that.

"I slept very well," I smiled, testing the boundaries and moving closer to him.

Well," he backed up slightly, "I'll go bring the car to the front, meet me outside?"

Ah, one boundary was back in place, we wouldn't be touching today, if he had anything to say about it.

"Ok, meet you out front," I smiled.

He left the room and I finished my coffee, there was a small basket of muffins, so I ate one. I cleaned up my mess and walked out the front door. The silver Volvo was sitting in the driveway waiting for me, as I neared the car Edward got out and walked calmly to the passenger door opening it for me. As I passed him to get in, his sweet scent swirled around me, I involuntarily breathed it deeply in and saw him tense up in my peripheral vision, yet another boundary.

We drove in silence for a while before I reached for the radio. When I touched it his jaw tensed ever so slightly, I laughed.

"What is so funny?" he said, snippy Edward returning.

"Are you always so protective of your radio,"I laughed again not able to help myself, "why don't you pick something, it's better than riding in silence."

Swiftly, he hit the button for the cd player, classical piano filtered through the speakers, I sat back in my seat and relaxed, much better. Edward's right hand rested on the center console, I wondered what he would do if I placed my hand near his. Feeling daring, I decided to try it. I slowly inched my hand until it rested close enough to his that they touched, just enough. He didn't move, not at all.

We arrived at the building too soon for my taste.

Once we entered the office we went our separate ways, without so much as a word between us.

Alice was hovering near enough to Jasper's area not to be noticed but still be able to watch him, I chuckled, she must really like him.

"Bella!" She jogged over to me, though, how she did it in high heels was a mystery.

"Good Morning Alice," I smiled, "How'd your date go?"

"Let's go to the boardroom," she said, " I have an impromptu office set up there, then we can chat."

She grabbed my hand and led the way. The big table in the room had small piles of papers, fabrics, color swatches, and sketches scattered on it, we picked two chairs and sat.

"Well," I was trying to avoid talking about my night, "how did it go?"

A smile lit up her face, "Jasper is wonderful. We are going out again tonight. Oh Bella, I really like him."

"I'm so glad, he seems to alter your mood when you are around him. I hope I get to meet him officially soon," I hugged her.

When she started sifting through papers, I though I had dodged the Edward bullet. I should have known better that to count on _my _luck.

"Did you night at Edward's go ok," a shadow crossed her face, I knew I would have to be delicate.

"At first," I was trying to pick my words carefully, "it was, tense. He just didn't want to be alone and I was there. If the mailman had stopped by it might have been him," I tried to shrug nonchalantly.

"Edward doesn't like the mailman," Alice said, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Probably not," I wiped a tear from my eyes, " still, it was nothing I see continuing," if Edward had his way, I thought to myself, "I'm still glad I was there. He needed it."

Alice gently touched my shoulder and looked into my eyes.

"He does, more than even he knows. Even if he doesn't show it, he was grateful. He wouldn't let me take you this morning. He all but kicked me out the door. I was shocked. He told me he couldn't bare to wake you, that you looked so perfect and content in his bed that he couldn't stand to let you leave," her words buzzed in my brain.

He couldn't stand to see me leave. Maybe cold Edward wouldn't reappear.

Later that day, Alice had given me some papers that she needed Edward to sign and asked me to take them to his office. I was silently excited. Would he be the same? I knocked on his door.

"Come in," he called.

I pushed the door open and walked in, my shoes making a clicking noise that caused his head to immediately snap up.

"Yes, Miss Swan," he sounded irritated, "what do you want?"

I faltered a little in my confidence, it was what I had expected,still, I was surprised.

"Alice wanted me to get you to sign these, but if you're busy I'll come back later," I started to turn to leave.

"No, I'll do it now, no need for you to visit my office a _second _time," he made his point.

"No, of course not," I retorted.

The pile was sizable, I entertained myself by inspecting his picturesat a closer range. I didn't care if he wanted me to or not, and that was just the attitude I was going to need to battle his hot and cold.

"How did you get all of these, they are magnificent," I breathed.

"Try not to break anything please, your record for grace isn't very convincing," he didn't even look up from the papers.

Fine. I could take it, plus, that was kind of true, I tried to stifle my giggles.

"I'll try to fall away from the pictures, don't you worry," I turned his insult into a joke.

I thought I saw a tug in his frown, but I couldn't be sure.

"You know,"I continued, " I do remember you. I remember when you would play the piano. I thought it was wonderful. I would try to hide just so I could listen to you play, unfettered."

That caught his attention, I saw the blush rise, starting from the collar of his shirt, I didn't know if it was anger or not but a reaction was a reaction.

"Once, I could have sworn you saw me," I turned to face him, to better see his reaction.

Edward's head was still bent over the papers, but his shoulders tensed, like a coiled spring about to break, maybe I had pushed too hard. Trial and error.

"I'm sure I didn't, because if I had I would have told you to get the hell out. How dare you intrude on something so private. Do you always unburden your mistakes on others, or am I just lucky," he shoved the papers into my hands, "Now, get the hell out of my office."

Hurriedly, I went out the door, not wanting the fight to escalate further. The door slammed loudly behind me. Yes, I had pushed too hard, next time, I would do better.

As I separated the papers into their necessary piles, I could clearly hear the piano in Edward's office, playing my song. I smiled, round one, Bella.

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**I will try to update Saturday night, but I can't promise it.**

**Enjoy this one though!**


	10. Snapshots

**It's short but I plan on updating once more tonight so it will even out! **

**Thanks to all of those who reviewed the last chapter!!**

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I was so happy it was Saturday, I hadn't remembered a time since high school I felt so relieved for it to be the weekend. The week had drug on and on. I was sticking it out but Edward's remarks were so tedious to deal with. Chipping away at him might be harder than I thought. Today, though, I was going to walk through the Wicker Park Community, hoping Edward wasn't at home, and take pictures. It had been too long since I had used my camera, it had been packed up until today. The thing about emotional break ups was they tended to suck the passion out of you, for everything. I'd majored in photography, I wasn't about to let it go to waste.

I thought I would take the train, but Alice wasn't having it, so I reluctantly let her drop me off. She insisted she was going that way anyway to see Jasper, somehow I doubted Jasper live in that area. She told me to call her when I was done and she would come get me, but I had other plans, I was going to take the train home. I smiled and waved as she drove away.

I had always loved old homes, the history they possessed fascinated me, there were plenty of them to keep me occupied here. The sun warmed my skin, but the chill of the coming fall was hinted in the air. I wondered what winter would be like here. Lots of snow and ice, plus me, couldn't equal anything good. I walked aimlessly for two hours, not paying the least bit of attention to where I had been or was going. Great, I thought, I'm lost, in Edward's neighborhood. Fantastic. I wasn't going to call Alice, I could find my way, I wasn't helpless. I looked around me, wishing I had grabbed one of my digital cameras so I could have just went through the pictures to find my way back. I decided to just continue the way I was going, something would look familiar eventually.

When I'd been walking for about twenty minutes, things did begin to look familiar, unfortunately it was because I was near Edward's house. I had three options; call Alice, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, keep walking, or knock on Edward's door and hope he took pity on me. I groaned. I didn't want to call Alice, I wanted her to stay with Jasper, but I didn't want to be lost in Chicago at night either. Hoping Edward was in a good mood was my only option.

As his house came into view, I secretly wished he wasn't there. Today was supposed to be an Edward free day, I suppose I should have expected as much when I chose this area to take pictures of, it was inviting disaster from the start. I didn't see the Volvo, but it could have been in the garage, so I didn't get my hopes up. I opened the gate, letting my fingers graze the wrought Iron as I latched it behind me, wondering if it was original to the old home. I noticed some of the windows were open, he had air conditioning so he must be home. I stood in the yard, debating with myself the similarities of being lost in Chicago and delivering myself to Edward, when I heard him playing.

The music floated out the windows, inviting me in, I wanted to get him on film playing. Desperately I wanted that. I looked at the windows, trying to figure out which one the piano was coming from. I was certain any passer-by thought I was insane, stalking around the house trying to avoid being caught, thus ruining my chance at a picture of the man playing. Finally I found the window which, by chance, had a large square planter under it that I could stand on.

As I tried to balance myself on the planter, I listened to the music closely, he was playing my song again. The desire to catch him on film was only intensified by that fact. God I hoped he didn't catch me. I allowed myself to peek over the window sill to see him, he was bent over the keys, oblivious to everything around him. The piano was very close to the window, if I made any loud noises he would surely hear me. Still, I brought the camera to my eye, carefully focusing on him. The flawlessness of him was breathtaking, my chest felt hollow as I watched him, wondering if I would ever sit beside him as he played outside of my dreams. I snapped one picture after another, I had taken quite a few when I realized he was looking right at me through the viewfinder.

I was caught.


	11. Coming Clean

**A/n : Sorry about the delay, I couldn't log in for like 3 days!! It was crazy!**

**I think ither the next chapter or the one after will be EPOV. As always, review to let me know what you are thinking!**

******WARNING***** Lemon.**

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For a few tense moments, we stared at each other, me with my mouth hanging open and him scowling at me, though his eyes seemed slightly amused. Arms crossed, he stood and faced the open window.

"Do you always peep in the windows of unsuspecting men, or just mine," he hissed.

"Just yours," I replied, if I was going to hell I might as well do it thoroughly.

"Ah, well then, would you kindly get off of my planter without breaking it, or you, and meet me at the front door,"he was barley containing himself.

I climbed down and wiped my hands on my pants, somehow I felt like a child who was walking towards a spanking and knew they were. If I had my own soundtrack I could only imagine the song playing now would be ominous. So much for an Edward free day. Oh well.

He was waiting for me at the door, hands on his hips, standing aside so I would have to walk passed him to get inside. As soon as I heard the door click my shoulders tensed. I walked into the room where the piano was and sat on the piano bench, not caring if he wanted me there or not, in a pure act of defiance. I crossed my legs and prepared for his tirade.

"Bella, I don't think it is wise for you to hang around me," he spoke.

"Who said I was trying to hang out with you? I was just trying to take pictures of the neighborhood and got lost," I looked at a the wall behind him as I spoke.

"No, I didn't mean today. I don't have friends and it is for a reason," he was spitting out his words again.

"I don't want to be your friend Edward," I spit back.

Hurt flickered across his face briefly, he didn't get what I was saying, he was so frustrating.

"I want to be more,"I shouted.

I was standing now, my fists clenched at my sides.

"How can you be so blind Edward? Your friend, if that was all I wanted I wouldn't have kept coming back to your office to deal with your verbal lashings,"my words poured out like fire.

The heat in my face made me feel like I was under a heat lamp. Edward's face was whiter and frozen in an unreadable mask, his hands mirroring mine. Why did he have to be so indifferent and cold all of the time?

"I'm here Edward, I'm not going anywhere, so you need to learn to deal with me and the fact that I am completely in love with your cold heart," I lifted my eyes to meet his as I confessed my feelings through my rant.

Edward looked weak, there was really no other way to describe it, and I became worried that I had pushed the man into a stroke or something. I went over to him and gently put my hands on his shoulders, intending to guide him to a chair, but his head snapped towards me. Completely startled, I jumped back.

"You can't possibly know what you are saying," he was vehement now, "you barely know me."

"I know more than you think," I said, regaining my composure, "I know that song you play is about me."

Now I was sure he needed to sit down, he couldn't get any whiter without looking green, I seemed to have struck a nerve. Before I could get to him, he sank to the floor, so I fell to my knees beside him.

"You can't possibly know that," he whispered.

"But I do. I know it's for me," I didn't dare touch him.

"I remember that summer. It was all darkness and sadness. My father sent me to Esme, I thought it was because he couldn't stand to look at me, my own father. When I first saw you, I heard that music in my head, it wrote itself. That day I saw you in the corner, I knew I had to play it," he looked at me, the pain pouring from his beautiful green eyes, nearly suffocating me.

"Play it for me," I put my hands on either side of his face, "play my song."

He stood up, almost in trance, and walked to the piano, I followed. Once he was seated I sat beside him. I watched as he placed his fingers on the keys, almost lovingly, and wondered at the likeness to my dream. The music filled me, in a way I can't describe. It enveloped us, and wound us together like a thread. He looked at me while he played, the intensity was almost alarming.

I wanted to kiss him, no, I needed to do it. I stood and faced him, the bench between my legs. Grabbing his face then slowly kissing his soft lips as he played. This felt right, like where I belonged. I kissed him again. The music changed pace, fitting the mood of the room. He reached for me with his mouth and I leaned into him, he took my bottom lip between his teeth, I no longer cared if he would change later, I wanted this.

Grabbing his hair in both hands, I let go, running my lips on his jaw, I heard him let out a low moan. Still, he played, Edward's mouth searched for my neck, when he found it, I gasped, the warmth sent tingles through my body. I forcefully placed myself between him and the piano, he instantly grabbed me and carried me upstairs to his room, exploring each others mouths all the way.

He placed me gently on the bed and lowered himself over me. My hands ripped the black tshirt over his head and tossed it haphazardly to the floor. His chest was exquisite, like a marble sculpture, I kissed it, biting gently. Again Edward let out a deliciously low moan. I wrapped my legs around him, desperately trying to pull him closer to me, and took his earlobe in my mouth.

Edward's control snapped, he yanked my shirt over my head, tearing it in the process, then he ripped off my pants followed by his own. His rough hands slid up my stomach, making short work of my bra. Why did I have on so many clothes, I thought in exasperation.

Finally I was free of all my clothes, as was Edward. No second thoughts now. Edward sat up against the headboard, pulling me deftly on top of him. I threw my head back and gasped as he finally entered me. His arms were around me, embracing me as we moved in time together. My nails bit at his back when he turned his attention to my breasts, the sensation rippling through me. I breathed his name, he pulled me closer to him, and together we went over the edge.

I fell back onto the bed, my legs still wrapped around him. Wondering what would happen now.

Edward untangled himself from me, laying down beside me.

"I can't promise you anything Bella," he said sadly, brushing the hair off of my face.

"I know," I whispered.

"I'll push you, I'll try to get you to leave, don't listen. I'm begging you, see passed it, I don't want to be like this," the words hung in the air.

"Where else would I go?"I looked into his eyes, leaning over him my hair hanging around us like a curtain.

"I don't want to hurt you, I'm broken and I don't think I can be fixed," a tear ran down his cheek.

Edward snaked his arms around my waist crushing me to him, and there we slept, exhausted, in each others arms.


	12. Smooth Sailing

**The flu has been going around my family this week, so my updates won't be as often!Thank you for all the kind words!! You guys are great!!**

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**Oh and check out my best friend's story!**

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**I don't own twilight or it's characters.**

**P.S. Sorry if there are typos! I've been sick myself and just didn't have the energy to check!**

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The next morning I woke, Edward still pressed against me, wondering how I could have possibly slept so long. The vibrating of my phone hit me like a tidal wave, I hadn't called Alice. She was going to be so worried! Great, how was I going to explain this. Trying not to wake Edward, I began the process of removing parts of him from me. Successful, I grabbed my phone, threw on his t shirt and walked into the hallway. Twenty messages, Alice had left me twenty messages. I sighed.

The phone didn't even ring once, "Bella! Where on earth are you? I was so worried, I looked for you all night!"

"I'm so sorry, I got lost, then I ended up in Edward's neighborhood," I paused, leaving out crucial information, "it was late," I lied, " he told me I could stay here, then I lost track of time and forgot to call. I'm sorry!"

"Isabella Swan, how dare you think, wait- you stayed where?" Alice said sounding very confused.

"I told you I ended up out by Edward somehow and he told me just to stay here," I fidgeted with the hem of Edward's shirt as I repeated my lie.

Edward's bedroom door opened behind me and a smiling, naked Edward step out, snatching my phone.

"Alice, she is safe, she is with me, do you really need to have this discussion now?" his voice was so addicting.

He clicked the phone shut and tossed it back into his room, leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't know how long he would be like this so I accepted anything I could get.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, brushing he lips along my inner arm.

"Good Morning," I breathed.

"Would you like to spend the day here, with me?" Edward intertwined his beautiful fingers with mine.

"Yes, I would like that," I said, meaning it.

After Edward had made us breakfast, we showered together, then we dressed, Well, I attempted to dress anyway, he had torn my shirt.

"How am I supposed to get dressed?" I asked wiggling my finger in the hole of my shirt.

Edward smiled at me lopsidedly and handed me a shirt.

"I know it will be too big," he said, " but at least it isn't holey. Sorry, I got carried away."

I giggled and pulled the shirt over my head, loving the way his scent swirled around me. Silently, with a strange intensity in his eyes, Edward took me by the hand and lead me downstairs and into the back yard. I was amazed at the beautiful flowers in the small yard. The smell was wonderful. Edward pulled me to the roses, cutting some then holding them in the crook of his arm.

"Would you like to go somewhere with me?" he asked

"You know I would," I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"OK, hold these and meet me out front, I'll get the Volvo," he smiled, "Be careful of the thorns."

The car ride was silent, just us and our breathing. When we pulled into the cemetery I was shocked, but not entirely. Edward had picked flowers after all. When the Volvo stopped, I knew what we were doing, we were visiting Elizabeth's grave. The day was cool, but not cold, yet I was chilled. Edward walked silently towards the large black headstone, it was beautiful, Elizabeth's name written in script across it and a curious oval metal casing was on the front of it. His fingers brushed the oval, lifting it to reveal a picture of his mother. She was a striking woman. He caressed the picture then placed the flowers in a stone vase beside the headstone.

We stood in silence, knowing nothing needed to be said to instill the importance of this moment. Edward's fingertips brushed mine, the entwined with them, I felt myself blush as he pulled me near him and put his arm around my waist. By the time we left, the sun was setting.

I thought he would head towards Alice's apartment, but he didn't.

"Aren't you going to take me home?" I questioned.

Edward sighed.

"Can't you just stay with me?"He kept his eyes one the road as he spoke.

"Edward," I rubbed his forearm, "I have to go home, I have to shower and sleep. I have to work tomorrow, you will see me there."

"I know, I'm just afraid, once you go, the walls will go back up, I don't want to hurt you," he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere, even if they do go back up, I will beat them down. I won't be easily scared off."

"OK."

The next two weeks were a blur. Edward did very well keeping his walls down, this vulnerable side of him was new to me and I enjoyed it. When I wasn't at work, I was with him or with Alice and Jasper. I liked Jasper, he was funny and kind, when he spoke that is. Alice already had him living with us, but when she was certain about something there was no stopping her.

"Morning Jasper," I said that Saturday.

"Good Morning Bella," his southern drawl was amazing, I could see why Alice liked it.

"Alice still in bed?" I asked, I needed to talk to her.

"She certainly is, I'm about to make breakfast, would you like something?"his smile was always so genuine.

"No thanks Jasper," I patted his back and headed towards their room.

Alice was sitting on the edge of the bed tying her shoes.

"Alice?" I inquired.

"Yea Bells, what's up?" She was grinning ear to ear and I could only imagine why. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you care if I stay at Edward's tonight, I mean we didn't have plans did we?"I wasn't sure but I didn't want to blow her off either.

"Nope, though, I was thinking, maybe we could all go to a movie or something next week," she put her finger on her chin and tilted her head slightly as she spoke.

"That would be great!" I said, excited.

I was so excited to see Edward today, I hadn't stayed over with him since that fateful day, I missed his bed. I'd been so tired in the last week that when we did see each other we would watch a movie at his place and I would almost always fall asleep. The early hour of the job must have been getting to me or I was coming down with something. Edward ans promised a relaxing weekend, just us, at his house, and I had eagerly accepted.

This time I was ready, I had a small bag packed and was on my way over. I had decided to take Alice's car, they had Jasper's and she refused to let me ride the train after the getting lost fiasco, I didn't like to drive it but I would rather have my freedom. I pulled into Edward's house and he was waiting for me outside.

"A little ostentatious don't you think?" he asked me, with his crooked grin.

"It's not mine, and I am sure you know that," I scoffed at him.

"Give me the keys so I can park this monstrosity in the garage," he chuckled.

I waited for him inside, the smell of pasta hit me, it smelled wonderful. I was hungry but I couldn't shake this headache I had gotten earlier. I felt that if I ate I would most likely be sick, but Edward had gone through all this trouble, so I would try. I took my bag up to his room and put it beside the bed. When I trotted back down the stairs he had lunch all set up in the dinning room, _you can so this Bella, _ I thought to myself. I was definitely coming down with something.

"This is great Edward," I smiled, putting another forkful in my mouth, hoping it stayed there.

"Thanks, my mom taught me to cook," his words were sad but he was smiling.

I helped him clear the table and that is when the first wave of true nausea hit me. I had to sit down or get to a bathroom, or both. I didn't take the time to explain to Edward where I was going, for fear of what might come out with the words, I just bolted for the bathroom upstairs in his room.

"Bella?" I heard him call behind me.

Ignoring him I slid on my knees in front of the toilet, letting everything come back out in lurches. How embarrassing. The door was wide open when he stepped into the frame his eyes wide, watching me wretch into his toilet.

"Are you OK?" he jigged up to me, rubbing my back lightly.

His hands felt great on my back. I weakly flushed the evidence, nodding to his question.

"No you're not, let me get you cleaned up, we will watch a movie in my bed tonight," he picked me up.

Edward's hands deftly removed my clothes, then took me into the bathroom where he ran a hot bath for me. He washed my hair, and cleaned me up.

"Where are your pajamas?"he asked.

I pointed to his room, he came back with my sweatpants and tank top, he helped me dress, then brushed my hair. I felt his strong arms lift me again and didn't even fight with him to let me walk. I felt awful.

"I have to go finish cleaning up," he told me, " but I'm going to pop the movie in for you, I shouldn't be long."

I don't remember when he came back, I had fallen asleep about a minute after he left the room.


	13. Complications

**Sorry about the short chapter but I am still getting over the flu. Ugh**

**Thanks for all the reviews, you guys are the best!**

**A/N I do not own anything related to Twilight.**

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The next morning, I felt better, for a while. It seemed like I wouldn't be lucky enough to get over this bug weekly. Edward had been insisting on me staying with him until I was better but I had made him take me home. No way did I want him to see me in all my sick glory. The begging as he dropped me off, just made it better.

"Please, Bella, come back to my house," he said one last time as I walked into the apartment.

"Absolutely not Edward, now go home, I'll call you tomorrow," I smiled gently as I pushed him out of the door.

I leaned onto the door frame, my hand on my forehead, Jasper and Alice weren't home, thank god. I just wanted to take a shower and read in a dimly lit room. I sat my bag on the couch and walked into our small kitchen to set down my keys, when I passed the calendar. What day was it? That couldn't have been right, Alice must have gotten red marker happy. According to that calender I was nearly two weeks late, I'd never been late before in my life. Suddenly I felt sicker. No, it couldn't be, no. For a second I was sure I would pass out, I couldn't be pregnant by a man I could barely get through to on most days.

I had to think logically, I had to be certain before I freaked out. Looking around the kitchen I grabbed Alice's keys, she must have taken Jasper's car, and walked back out the door, purposely leaving my cell on the counter. I did not need to be talking to anyone right now.

As I drove to the nearest drug store a million different things were running through my mind, what would I do? Option one; tell Edward, see where that would go, probably nowhere good. I laughed at the irony. Option two; deal with it on my own until I couldn't hide it anymore, then go home, another one I thought would go over swell, Charlie would be thrilled. Option three; go home as soon as I knew.

The woman who checked me out gave me strange looks as she rung up the fifteen pregnancy tests of all different variates, better safe than sorry, oh the irony. Maybe I should have thought of that during, I let out a breath as she handed me the bag, I felt like a high school kid sneaking into the house with liquor. When I was back in the car I threw the offending bag at the passenger side, this was not going to be a good day.

Three hours, fifteen tests later, and I knew, I was pregnant. I also knew, I was about to lose what little lunch I had. Suddenly, I heard shuffling in the apartment and Alice calling my name. _Fuck,_ I did not need her finding this out right now. Haphazardly, I shoved everything back in the bag, quickly scanning to make sure I didn't miss anything, and put a towel over it, hoping to make it inconspicuous. Taking some courage from thin air, I opened the door.

"Hey Bella, Edward said you weren't feeling well," Alice walked up to me as she spoke.

"Yea, just a little bug I think, nothing major,"I smiled weakly, nothing major at all.

"Well," she said, furrowing her brow, "you should take tomorrow off, I can manage without you."

"Thanks, Alice," thanking her, I went into my room.

Then I did one thing I would have never imagined, I called Jacob.

"Bells?"his familiar voice was like safety to me.

"Jake, I did something and I don't know what I'm going to do," I confessed as though I'd committed a murder.

"Calm down, Bells, just tell me what's wrong," he spoke, he was always so gentle and kind with me, never complicated.

Hesitating, I paused, if I told him this surely he would hate me, did I really have a choice?

"I'm pregnant Jake. By Dr. Cullen's nephew. I don't know what I'm going to do," again I put my faith in Jake and confided in him.

He was silent, I started to cry.

"Bella, it's ok, don't cry, have you told _him _yet?" he asked, practically growling.

"No, I don't know if I want to. Things are, complicated," I thought that was the best way to put it.

"Then come home, I'll take care of you,"the warmth returned to his voice.

Had he only known how comforting his offer was, at least now I had a back up plan.

"I can't Jake, at least, not yet," I said quietly, knowing he would understand.

"Bells, if you need me, call. I'll be here, waiting," he said as a goodbye.

Somehow I knew he would be, and it made me feel so much better. I would wait it out as long as I could here, with Edward, if I had to, I would go home. God I hoped I didn't have to. I had faith in Edward before, I should have faith in him now, I did, or I thought I did. My mind still racing, I laid down to a very fitful sleep.

_He was a beautiful baby, his bronze ringlets so much like that of his father. I loved him completely. His chubby baby fingers wrapped around mine, magical. I could hear the piano, I stood to find it, the baby tucked protectively in my arms, I searched and searched. I began to become frantic, where was he? Finally, I reached the doorway the music was emanating from, pushing it open, only to find the piano bench empty. The only sound coming from a cd player in the corner of the room._

I woke in a cold sweat, the dream unsettling me.

It was much later than I had thought. I needed to make some phone calls, mainly, a doctor's appointment. Luckily, I had asked Alice to give me a list of her favorite doctors so I wouldn't need to research them. I made my appointment for early the next week, hopefully it went smoothly.

Now I needed to learn how to hide this from Edward. I wasn't entirely sure I could do it, but I was going to try, at least for a while.

When Alice came back that afternoon, I was in my room, reading, eating saltine crackers.

"Hey Bells, feeling better?" she asked, trotting down the hallway.

"Yea, I am," I replied.

"Well, don't hate me, but I invited Edward over for a movie night with me and Jasper, and you of course," she smiled so wide, I had to smile in return.

"That's fine," I said, "will he be here soon?"

"Actually, he is in the living room," Alice giggled with her small hand on her mouth.

I guess I was about to find out how I would act around Edward.


	14. Indecision

**Ok this is a hort one folks, but I'm going to try to update again in alittle bit. It just seemed like agood stopping point.**

**Some of you seem shocked Bella is carrying Edward's love child, I was too. LOL You'll see though, how it will help Edward develop.**

**LOVING the reviews!!**

**A/N I do not own Twilight or any of the related material.**

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Following Alice down the hallway, I gathered all the composure I could, I was going to need it. There he was, lounging on our love seat, Edward, in all his beauty. My heart tugged a little. I should tell him, but I was so afraid of how he would react, that I couldn't. It was irrational, well mostly, and I knew that but still I couldn't bring myself to tell him until I knew whether he was really going to try at this. I needed more certainty than I had right now.

When Edward saw me walking towards him, he stood, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

"Hi," he said, cupping my cheek.

The urge to throw myself into him and spill everything, struck me so suddenly I nearly choked.

"Hi,"I said, my face buried in his strong chest.

Edward's heartbeat was like an anchor for me, I relished the sound of it. He kissed the top of my head and we sat down, getting comfortable with each other on the love seat, while Alice barely hid the shocked look on her face. The giggle that escaped my lips made her snap her mouth shut. I winked at her and she smiled.

"So I thought we could watch "The Notebook". I know it is a great book, so I was curious about the movie," she proudly held up the dvd.

Great, a love story where the couple surpasses insurmountable odds, that would totally lighten my mood.

"That sounds great Alice," was all I said.

The movie only barely registered in my mind, it couldn't compete with the closeness of Edward. His scent intoxicated me, his light touches calmed my racing mind. Maybe he could handle it. Maybe. Maybe I could wait until after the first appointment, then tell him. Edward had surprised me this far, I dare say he had surprised himself, he certainly could continue to do it.

Laying here with him, everything seemed so right, like nothing at all was wrong with this situation. Everything was as it was meant to be. I knew I would love this baby, no matter what, it came from love, at least on my end. That would always be a beautiful thing to me. Edward shifted slightly, his fingers brushing my arm lightly, sending chills down my spine, making me more aware of him. I fought the urge to let my hand rest on my abdomen.

I took a peak at Alice and Jasper. Jasper was stretched out on the couch, Alice laying beside him. The fingers were entwined and both of them looked so happy. It made me so glad to see Alice with a person who treated her so well, She had always been there for me and to see here finally get the love she gave so freely back two-fold was satisfying. Still. I wondered if I could ever have that with Edward. I knew I wanted it, desperately. I sighed, making Edward tighten his grip on me further, maybe he really had changed, how many times was I going to think that in one night?

When the movie was over, it was late, Edward wanted me to come home with him.

"Please Bela," he asked, tightly clasping my hand.

It was the look flashing in his green eye that made me cave.

"Let me go get my bag," I chuckled.

As we crossed the threshold he scooped me up, I nearly died from the shock of it but before I could say anything his mouth was on mine. He placed sweet, open mouth kisses on my open lips. I immediately dropped my bag in the hall as he continued to carry me up the stairs. He nuzzled an nipped my neck, I let out a long sigh. I found myself gently placed on his bed, yet again, Edward ran his hands gently over my fully clothed body,The sensation of the clothes sliding across me, made me shiver.

"Touch me," I begged.

Teasingly, he pulled up the hem of my shirt, just enough to place a single wet kiss on my bare skin, I groaned softly. I wanted him to do it again and again and again on and on, forever, so badly that it physically hurt. Edward was taking it slow, putting his hands under my shirt, lazily brushing my breasts. I could hardly take it.

In pure desperation I took two fistfuls of his hair and took his bottom lip into my mouth, biting it. His sharp intake of breathe gave me satisfaction, I moved on to his ears, yanking his hair harder.

"Bella," he breathed my name.

God, I loved him. I ripped off his shirt, not wanting to match his slow pace, and undid his pants, my hands shaking. Edward stood and finished undressing, in the short time it took him, I had already undressed myself. He was careful to hold his weight off of me, but that wasn't what I wanted, I wanted to feel his weight against me, I pulled him to me and wrapped my legs completely around him. When I thrust upwards, he gasped again, a sly smile played on my lips.


	15. Whirlwind

**Ok, first, don't hate me for this chapter. Know lovable Edward is still here!!**

**Next, I love your feedback, never think it's too negative, it just gives me insight into what you are thinking. I can't read your minds, so please tell me what you are thinking beforeI go insane. ;)**

**A/N I do not own twilight or the related material!**

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Stupid traffic, stupid Edward, stupid Alice. Ok, not stupid Alice, although the reason I was running behind and had to reschedule my doctor's appointment three times until I was three full months behind where I had originally scheduled, I loved Alice. The day after I had confessed my undying love to what I _thought _had been a sleeping Edward, had been a nightmare. He had put the walls back up full force and I was thankful I hadn't told him about the small wonder I was now carrying. I had stuck it out and tried to chip the walls back down, sometimes succeeding, but, as of last week, we were not on speaking terms.

I walked into the office, signing in and handing over all the necessary things to make copies of. I sat down to fill out the forms, people giving me looks over their magazines, of course I was dressed like someone very important, thanks to Alice. She had made a few comments about me gaining weight, so I had gotten some larger clothes. I had a problem, I was becoming obviously rounded and it was a miracle no one had noticed yet, soon I was going to have to decide what I was going to do. I placed my hand on my round tummy and smiled, it was safe to do that here, it was expected.

The waiting room was nice, it had small leather armchairs instead of the typical hard ones. The color scheme was refined, instead of tacky. They played classical music over the speakers, instead of upbeat light pop or elevator music. I liked it. Better yet, my doctor was a woman, Dr. Victoria Leery. This was something I was excited about, because I didn't one another man looking in those areas. Jake and Edward had been enough for me.

"Isabella," the small, grey haired nurse called my name.

_Here we go_, I thought to myself standing up,_ everyone is staring, oh wait she isn't, oh, now she is. _Sometimes I was thankful no one could here my inner dialogue.

"Hello Isabella, room three please, straight down the hall on your left," she smiled politely.

"Please, just Bella," I said, to the kind nurse.

I sat on the exam table, nervous out of my mind.

"Ok Bella," the nurse pulled out her pen and clicked it, "When was your last period due?"

"About three and a half months ago, I tried to get in earlier but I thought since it was still early," I rambled.

"Oh you're fine dear. We don't usually see anyone until between 8-10 weeks anyway," she smiled again.

"Oh, good," I said.

"Lay back please, we are going to see if we can find a heartbeat, you should be far enough along for us to," she pulled out a small wand and squirted warm gel on my exposed, round, belly.

I awaited the heartbeat of my child eagerly, more eagerly than I would have imagined. The nurse searched for about five minutes before assuring me that this happened sometimes and that the doctor would probably do an ultrasound while I was here to be sure.

"Sometimes, you can even fins out the sex at around twelve weeks, and you should be around fifteen weeks," she spoke as though that should reassure me, " the doctor will be right in."

I sat in silence, eying the ultrasound machine in the corner. Hoping it was my friend, not my enemy. Glaring at it if you will. Also, wish Edward was here for this, berating myself for stealing this moment from him, even if I wasn't sure he wanted it at all.

"Hi, Bella," Victoria said, another smiling person, "first thing I'm going to do, is give you a quick scan, just to be sure everything is ok."

More gel was applied to my tummy.

"So, where's the daddy," she asked.

Just the question I hoped to avoid.

"He couldn't make it, he is a lawyer, he has been so busy," I smiled, lying through my teeth.

"Well," she said hitting a button, "this is your little one's heart beat. They were facing your back, which is why we couldn't hear the heartbeat."

The small whooshing sound filled the room, and I was in awe. I made that, no, _we _made that. My love of Edward grew.

"Oh," was all I managed to choke out.

Victoria handed me a tissue.

"Would you like to know the sex?"she asked.

"Umm, yes?" I said more like a question.

"Well, do you see that, right there, that means it is a boy!" she said excitedly.

"Oh!" I blurted.

I felt even worse now that I hadn't yet told Edward. I made up my mind to tell him when I went back to work.

"Everything seems to be fine. I'm going to leave a prescription for you vitamins with the nurse and then you can make you next appointment," she spoke, wiping the gel from my tummy, obviously trying not to get it on my expensive clothes.

"Thank you," was all I could manage.

When I arrived back at the office, the first person I sought out was Alice.

"Come with me, now," I said, pulling her towards the boardroom.

"Bella, what on-"she stopped mid sentence.

I slammed the door behind us.

"Alice, I'm going to tell you something, something you _cannot _repeat. Swear it to me," I gripped her hands in mine.

"Ok, Bella, you know you can trust me," her voice dripped with concern.

"I'm pregnant," I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pictures of the ultrasound," He is Edward's. Edward doesn't know, but I'm going to go tell him now."

"Oh Bella! You weren't gaining weight!! Why didn't I get it," her jaw was open, staring at the pictures, "you have to tell him."

"I am, but no matter what, you can't say you knew," I repeated.

She nodded, and I walked towards Edward's office.

I felt like I was walking into a den of lions, and I felt my heart begin to race, I also was afraid I might faint, this can't be good for me. I didn't bother to know, I knew full well no one was there but him, Tanya had told me.

"Why on earth did you just barge in here," he stood up from behind his desk.

"I have something to tell you and you are going to listen," I said sternly.

"Oh, more confessions from the heart of Isabella Swan?" He said sarcastically.

That stung, more than he could know, or maybe he did know. The tears burned my cheeks with their heat, I couldn't hold them back.

"Oh Edward! How could you? What have you done?" I fell into a chair.

"Ah, breathless whispers in the night don't always go unheard, nor are they always welcomed," he sneered.

I gathered all my courage, I _loved this man, _this hurt, broken man, but I couldn't keep taking this hurt he was willingly flinging at me. If he cut me deep again, I didn't know if I had the strength to stay.

"Edward, stop playing games with me for two second. Drop your damn walls and stop being so self absorbed, please!" I yelled, sure everyone withing 3 office heard me.

"Bella, silly Bella," he said walking around his desk towards me, "when will you learn, you are meant to be touched, not heard?"

With that, I snapped. I turned around, tears freely flowing, marching straight past Alice, ignoring her calling my name because I could hear Edward's footsteps behind me and feel his smug smile. Damn him. The last thing I heard before walking out the front door and into the elevator was Alice.

"Edward, what have you done? _What have you done?"_

The drive to the apartment had never seemed so long, I booked my flight on the way, I needed to be at the airport in one hour and I meant to be. I packed only essentials, Alice had paid me handsomely, I would replace anything I needed to when I arrived home. The buzzer by our door rang, letting me know my taxi was here, I left Alice's keys where she could find them and grabbed my bag and my cell and walked out the door.

I dialed the familiar number as I got in the cab.

"Bells?"the familiar voice was thick with sleep.

"Yea Jake, it's me"I said through the tears.

"What is it, what's wrong?" he was immediately awake.

"I'm coming home."


	16. Mists of Home

**Ok guys, here isthe newest chapter. Next Chapter will be from EPOV. Then I may start to alternate.**

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**A/N I do not own twilight or the related materials**

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At the airport, I found myself wishing for one of those end-of-the-movie scenes. The one where the lover comes and says, "Don't go!" but I didn't get it. I feared I never would. Now was a time for me to be strong, I now had my baby to think of, I would give him all the love I could and not hide who his father was from him, and when he was ready, we would seek Edward out. My heavy head rested on the uncomfortable seat, and I fought back more tears.

Jake would take care of me, I knew he would, and I was grateful. He deserved better than me and my situation. I didn't know how I was going to explain this to Charlie, or Billy, or Esme for that matter. But I would cross that bridge when I got there. I shut my eyes and slept, like the dead.

When I awoke I was being told to fasten my seat belt, I did and stroked my rounding stomach. I looked out of my window at the familiar scene of Washington, my mom. It was more so my home than Arizona had ever been. I'd missed the green and even the rain. Jake was waiting fir me down there, I was glad to be seeing even him. I had changed my clothes into something more suitable for traveling. My low waist jeans buttoning just below the bump of my baby. It was the first time I realized how much I was really showing and I was amazed no one had noticed. Edward's black t shirt was form fitting, it still smelled of him, making it even more obvious I was pregnant.

I stood on tip toes as I walked out of the gate, looking for the monstrously tall Jake. I didn't have to look long, his head poked above the rest, his long, silky, raven hair long and pulled back.

"Bells!" he waved enthusiastically.

When I broke away from the crowd, I saw his smile fade, for a second I was confused, then I realized he had just seen my belly. The obvious symbol of my love for another man. I sighed, but walked towards him arms open.

"Jake, I'm so happy to see you, I really am. Please don't look at me so sadly," I reached out for him.

"Oh Bella," he said placing his huge and on my swollen belly.

"I know Jake, it's like I'm a magnet for danger, to my own heart," I smiled ruefully.

"You look beautiful," he rubbed my belly, "let's just tell Charlie it's mine, that I cam to see you and this is what happened."

"Maybe for now, that'd be ok, but I want my son to know his father if he chooses, I don't mean to hurt you, I don't," I said hugging him close to me.

"It's settled then, for now, he is mine," he smiled, yanking up my bag, "you ready to go home?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed, and missed Edward so badly a hole tore open in my heart.

The ride was quiet, several times Jake placed his hot hand on mine, and I let him. It didn't matter now, I was here Edward wasn't coming and I needed to have support. It was selfish, maybe even cruel really. I didn't care. I was in self preservation mode. We had decided to go to Charlie;s first, better to face the music. I was calling him so he would know we were coming.

"Bells?" Charlie's voice questioned.

"Yea dad, it's me, I'm home. I'm with Jake and we are about five minutes from your house. We have something to tell you,"my voice sounded so alien to me, so monotone, like the life had been sucked from it.

"Ok," Charlie hesitated, he knew something was up, but that was dad.

I clicked the phone shut and Jake gave my hand a gentle squeeze, just when I needed it. Damn it why couldn't Edward have been here! I shook the thought out of my head, I had to focus. Charlie was waiting outside, great, he would know right away, easier for me, poor Jake. Charlie's hands were on his hips, he glare both loving and suspicious as Jake helped me out of the truck.

When I rounded the front of the truck and was in full view Charlie's face drastically changed. The mixture of anger, love, and disbelief made me giggle hysterically.

"Jake, what did you do to my daughter. No, never mind, I don't need details,"he said sternly, "do you plan on taking care of her?"

"I do, sir," Jake said, holding my hand, well played.

"Bella, why did you wait so long to tell me?" Charlie's stern gaze turned to me.

"I don't know dad," I shifted on my feet, "but I'm here now.

The rest of our visit went by uneventfully. We visited, I packed some more of my clothes to take to Jake's new house. He'd told me he bought one while I was gone, it wasn't far from the high school. I was becoming more and more numb every minute I was here with my safe, sweet Jacob.

"Jake, I'm going to call Esme, if you don't mind, would you drop me at the Cullens' ?" I want to pick up my truck," I said, plastering on my best smile.

"Yea, sure," he replied.

Esme was home and she assured me it was perfectly ok if I stopped by to get my truck. I missed her, I would be happy to see her. We pulled up to the familiar tree lined drive and I suddenly didn't want her to see me with Jake.

"Just drop me here ok?" I asked, pleading pouring from my eyes.

"That's an awful long walk Bells," Jake countered.

"Please," I whimpered.

He caved, he let me out, and I began my walk. Edward's t shirt clung to me in the damp Forks air, almost as though Edward himself was enveloping me. My chest heaved. I reached the door and knock before I opened it.

"Esme?" I yelled.

"In the kitchen Bella," her voice called back.

I walked up the small flight of stairs to the kitchen, when she looked up she dropped the plate she was washing and it shattered. As I watched the pieces fly, it was as if the plat was my resolve, and I lost all control, sinking on my knees on their kitchen floor.

"Bella, Alice told me you and Edward were close, is this baby his?" her question pierced me through the heart.

"Yes," I sobbed, "Esme I love him, I love him so much it hurts. I had to leave, I had to do it."

As we sat there, Esme cradling me and rocking me like her own child, Carlisle walked in.

"Esme, what's going on here?" he said rushing over to us, "Bella?What on earth, oh, my."

"The baby is Edward's," Esme saved me from having to explain again but the main sent me into a fresh peal of hysterics.

"Well, that make it family, and we take care of family. I will be your doctor Bella, I know enough about obstetrics," he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Calisle," I sniffled.

"Do you have a place to stay?," Esme asked.

"Yes," I answered, avoiding the real answer.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Carlisle at the hospital. He did another ultrasound, confirming the due date and the sex, blood work, and other standard tests, and told me to come back in a month. When I got in my truck, feeling it roar to life beneath me, I became the Bella zombie again, and headed back to Jake. As I pulled up my phone vibrated, I had a text message.

_Bella, come back, Edward needs to know, he is a mess but won't show it. He wore two different colored socks to work today! Please, come home._

Oh Alice, how I wish I could.

I put the phone down, walked into my new home, and began my new life.


	17. Following Alice

**Ahhh, finally some EPOV!! I know it seems like it will end soon, but not quite.**

**Thanks for the feed back, your comments make me feel like I am doing a good job!! Sometimes I not so sure LOL!**

**A/N As always I do not own Twilight!**

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**EPOV**

Damn it, what was wrong with me? I berated myself as I followed Bella, the love of my life since I was sixteen, tromp down the hall of my office, tears streaming down her face. When Alice looked at me, incredulously, I knew something was terribly wrong and I couldn't fix it. Damn my mouth!

"Edward, what have you done? _What have you done?" _Alice grabbed me by the collar of my jacket, shocking me further.

"Alice, let me go, I have to stop her, I'm such an ass!" I tried to tug away from the demented pixie's grasp.

"No, I don't know what you said, but you are going to let her leave. Let her collect her thoughts and come back, do you understand me, Edward?" Alice's eyes flashed a threat I knew she would follow through with.

"Yes," she was right, Bella would come back, she always did, then I would apologize.

I waited, and waited, and waited. She didn't come. So, I told Alice I was going home.

"She'll come Edward, she will," she assured me, though I didn't deserve the assurance.

I drove home, _her _song playing maddeningly in my head. The louder it played in my brain, the faster I drove, toward my piano, toward getting it _out_. The Volvo was abandoned in the driveway, I didn't bother putting it up I just locked it and bolted. Once in the house I slapped my keys onto the first table I crossed and then went straight for my piano. I pounded the keys, this was my fault, I had pushed her away. I laughed out loud at the word pushed, the crazy edge of it breaking my spirit more. Just another woman I loved I had pushed over the edge.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I ignored it, it wouldn't be Bella, the phone wasn't her style. It sopped, only to start vibrating again a few seconds later. I snatched it out of my hip pocket, ripping it.

"What," I hissed.

"Edward, sit down," Alice said.

I obeyed.

"Why should I?" I asked snarlingly.

"Because, you incurable ass, Bella's gone. She took some of her things, she's gone home to Forks, you fucked up cousin," she finished.

I slammed the phone shut.

I sat down on my floor, placed my head in my hands and wailed like Bella had died. At that moment, for me, there was no difference, I knew I wouldn't go after her. I knew I would languish here, as I always had. I didn't even have the will to move from where I sat. So I slept, there on the floor.

_I was running, it was dark, wet, and seemingly green. Bella was screaming my name. Screaming. The sound of it cut at me like razorblades, she was hurt, I knew she had to be, I couldn't find her. _

"_Edward!" she creamed and screamed._

_Tears began to run down my face, I was frantic, where was my love? Suddenly I was on my balcony, but I didn't have time to slow down. I hurled over the side and landed with a sickening thud, beside the body of my mother._

I woke in a cold sweat, stiff from sleeping on the floor, vaguely aware of my phone vibrating under my cheek, that was going to leave a mark. Both Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle had called me. What was going on here? Well at least I could assume Bella had made it home safely. I stood up, realizing it was still dark, and made the lonely trek to my room. I took off my suit and laid on my bed, finding the spot on my pillows that still smelled of Bella, my heart threatened to stop. It hurt, I thought I might be physically ill. I drifted back to sleep.

I don't know how long I existed like that. I would dress in a daze, I took no cases, Alice fussed over me. By the time I came out if it it was spring and I had decided I would call Bella. I dialed her number then stared at the screen. Finally, I hit the button.

"Hello," she answered breathlessly.

"Bella, I," I was interrupted by a male voice in the background on Bella's end.

"Who's callin' Bells," the husky voice said.

"No one, Jake, go back to sleep," she said softly.

She'd moved on. My heart hardened.

"Edward," she whispered, "Edward are you still there."

"Yes, but as I see you have no need of me, I'll leave you be," I hung up the phone.

I rubbed my chest, where the pain was radiating from.

**BPOV**

It had been 4 months since I had last seen Edward, when his voice filled my senses, I was so happy, alive. When he hung up, it was like the wound bled fresh, and I felt like I would hyperventilate. I began thinking of how Jake had asked me to marry him again and I had said yes, coming to terms, just two days ago, with the fact Edward wasn't going to come find me. I saw the glint of the ring, and it became harder to breathe, I was betraying Edward, but what else could I do. Little Gabriel kicked me, which made me panic more. I shook Jake, trying to wake him.

"Bells, you ok?" he said wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I..I.. I can't, catch.. my breathe," I said to him, before promptly vomiting on his side of the bed.

Jake jumped out of the bed, my head began to ache, and I felt dizzy, I needed to calm down.

"Call Carlisle," I spat out.

Before I knew it I was at the hospital, Carlisle and Esme frantic around me. Esme held my hand giving Carlisle knowing looks. My breathing was under control, the panic attack had, thankfully, passed. Why was I still here?

"Carlisle," I said hoarsely, "what's going on?"

"Bella, your blood pressure is high, it was dangerously high when you arrived. If we let you go and it happens again both you and the baby could die. I will keep the baby in utero as long as I can, but we will likely deliver sometime next week, closer to 35 weeks."

"Oh," I was stunned.

" I called Alice," Esme spoke, " she is on her way. Jake went home to get some of your things."

"Oh," I said again.

**EPOV**

I went to work that morning disgruntled and unhappy. When I walked into my office to find Alice there, with a packed bag, I though nothing of it. Until she spoke.

"Edward, listen to me closely. I swore to Bella I wouldn't tell you this but I fear I have no choice now," she paused to breathe, "The day Bella left here, she came to you to tell you she was pregnant, with your child," she stopped as I began to talk over her.

"Impossible," I blurted.

"Edward don't be stupid. Think about it, how much weight had she gained? Where did she gain it?" she raised an eyebrow, " Well not she and the baby are both in trouble. I'm going home to be with her. If you love her at all, anywhere in that dark heart, you will follow closely behind me."

Alice stood, walked to me reaching as high as she could to hug me, then left. Bella, was pregnant, with my baby, and I hadn't let her tell me.

I had no choice, I would be in Forks by nightfall.


	18. Bruises

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews!! The story won't end with the birth of the baby, there are too many issues that will need resolved, even after LOL.**

**You guys are great, seriously, keep the reviews coming!**

**For anyone interested, this is the song I had on while writing the last part of this chapter from EPOV**

**.com/watch?v=gqBMYoctFZM ( put youtube at the begining of that. Stupid editing software it's Beauty from Pain Superchick)**

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**EPOV**

Disembarking the plane, I was a ball of nerves, I dressed casually in my dark jeans and black sweater. I'd brought enough clothes for a t least a month, hoping for Esme to let me stay with them. I found the car rental counter and got to business.

"I'd like to rent a very specific car," I said.

"Well, sire, what kind and I will see what I can do," the black haired girl, who's name tag read "Hope" spoke.

I took her name to be a sign.

"I would like a Volvo s60, color doesn't matter," I replied.

We happen to have one, in silver," she smiled.

"Perfect, where do I sign."

The paperwork was tedious and did nothing to ease my racing mind, please be ok Bella and, I gulped, my baby. _My baby._ I had made a child, the enormity of it made me want to run, what if I hurt them, but I couldn't do it. I didn't know them, had not even seen an ultrasound of them but I loved them. It was strange really, my paternal need to protect the baby and Bella. I needed to keep them safe. I drummed my fingers on the counter as I impatiently waited for the keys.

"Here you are Mr. Masen," she handed me the keys and I was off.

I wanted to go straight to the hospital but I restrained myself. I didn't know what was wrong with Bella, I didn't want to be surprised, so I went to Esme;s first. Alice had texted me saying she was at the house. I'd forgotten how green it was here and everywhere I looked I was reminded of that summed, here, with Bella. The summer I had fallen for her.

I pulled into the tree lined drive, parked and walked into the house. Esme was in the front room, just taking her coat off.

"Edward! I'm so happy you came, what do you know?" she raised one perfect eyebrow.

"I know the baby is mine and that Bella and the baby are in some kind of trouble. That's really all," I said, my voice edged with shame.

"Her blood pressure is high, borderline dangerous. Carlisle has her medicated so she will stay calmer, the baby, Gabriel, is fine. There is something you should know," she paused to look at me.

"What, Esme," what could hurt me further.

"Bella, she is engaged, to Jacob Black," Esme put her hands on my shoulders.

"Engaged? She wasn't going to tell me about my son and she was going to marry another man," I was outraged.

"Edward, you need to understand, she was trying to protect her child, she didn't know what you were going to do, she wanted you to know, but not until she thought you could handle it," Esme patted my head.

I took in a breath, she was right.

"Can I see her?" I asked, desperately wanting the answer to be yes.

"You can go to the hospital, but , for now, I suggest you watch from afar. We are trying to get her through to next week before she delivers, I don't know how she will react to you being here," she said straightforwardly.

"Then lets go," I said putting my coat back on.

"Wait, before we go," Esme reached into her bag, "I want to show you something."

The flimsy strip of paper she handed me, at first seemed unimportant, then I saw, it was my baby. Not just him, but in detail, he had my nose. I traced his tiny face with my finger, more resolute that I would be here for this.

"Now, we can go," Esme said smiling.

I carefully tucked the pictures into my pocket.

**BPOV**

I hated feeling drugged and out of control. If I had to eat one more hospital dinner I might crack. Jacob was with me all the time, it was a little suffocating to be honest, but he meant well. I had begged him to bring me some real food, which reminded me of Charlie, but he told me no because of the diet I was on. I knew he was right, so I always sighed and sat back. Just one week Bella, one week, you could do this, for your baby.

I was bored to tears, when I wasn't sleeping anyway. Sleeping always lead to dreams of Edward. Edward holding Gabriel, holding me, holding both of us. Dreams were my escape, my happy place. I knew I was doing the right thing. Jacob would provide for us and love us. Edward just, was so broken, too broken for all the beautiful pieces to fit back together. I had resigned myself to that, still, there he was in my dreams.

"Jake?" I asked scanning my brain for a reason to send him out of the room for a minute.

"Yea," he looked at me.

"Could you go get me a book to read, I'm so bored," I emphasized the last par, for good measure.

"Sure,"he squeezed my hand as he stood to go.

I laid my head back, shut my eyes, and retreated into my dreams.

**EPOV**

Esme took me to Carlisle, he updated me one the situation. Bella would have to deliver next week, Gabriel would be small, but not too small. They had already given her the steroids for his lungs, just in case they couldn't wait, and all the appropriate forms were signed.

"I think we should wait until next week before we tell her you are here. I don't want to risk it Edward, though I am glad you came," Carlisle's clapped his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm glad I did too. Can I see into her room, if I stay out of sight?" I desperately needed to _see_ she was ok.

"Yes, the nurse's station is right by her room, if you stand there, you can see her," he smiled, then called to tell the nurses who I was.

I found the nurse's station without a problem. They pointed to her window, I fell more for her when I saw her. My Bella, very round with my child, her eyes shut, sleeping. The tubes, wires all concerned me. I didn't like them. I could stand her all day. I thought I might, until my admiration was interupted by the one I assumed to be Jacob Black.

"Why are _you _here," he yelled.

I saw Bella stir at the sound of his shouts.

"Shut up you fool, would you endanger her and _my _child," I placed heavy empasis on the baby being mine.

"You have no place here," he continued to yell, "she doesn't want you here. I won't let you see her!"

Somehow I doubted very much what this _boy _knew.

"Jake," one of the nurses said, "take it outside."

"Sorry, Jessica," he said, "_you, _follow me."

I followed him into a court yard.

"Look, Masen, you don't belong here. Bella tried to go to you, you didn't let her. Now she is with me and she is happy," he spat out.

"I highly doubt you have any inkling of what Bella really wants," I seethed.

"I know she doesn't want someone who killed his own mother," he crossed a very dangerous line and something in me snapped.

Before I could stop myself, I was throwing a punch at Jacob Black. I was extremely satisfied by the sound my fist made when it bloodied his nose. I left him there, on the ground, to attend to his own wounds.

I went back to Esme's, finding my old piano still there. Thank you Esme. I sat down, brushed the keys lovingly with my right hand and looked up to Bella's corner, where she had thought she was so easily concealed. I smiled, I began to play her song, our song.

_The sadness couldn't be stopped, it threatened me every waking moment and more-so in my sleep. My piano was my only comfort. I emmerced myself in it. Composing for everything, everyone I knew. A particularly beautiful dust mote was graced with my composition skills one bad afternoon. Then, I looked up and saw her. The sun shone in her long brown hair, making the red tones evident, her chocolate brown eyes staring at me unabashedly, thinking she was hidden. She was pale, like me, and I thought she was beautiful. She sparked a song in my head, I played it. The sad threads mixing with the ones of beauty. She smiled warmly, as if in approval, then she yawned and a smile graced my mouth. It felt strange to smile again, like something in me had thawed ever so slightly. She was my beauty. I fell in love with her on the spot._

I didn't realize I was crying until the tear splashed on my knuckles.

I had to win her back, she was all that was good in me.


	19. Beginings

**Hi everybody! If you like my story, recommend it to people you know! get it out there! :) Thanks for all the reviews!! I'm enjoying writing this story, I was afraid at first but now I am having so much fun with it!**

**Thank you for the fanfictions you all recommended, I am loving reading them, you are the best readers a girl could have!**

**Keep the review love coming :)**

**A/N I don't own Twilight!**

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**BPOV**

I was pouting, sulking if you will. Jake wouldn't tell me how he got the black eye and broken nose. It had been a week sense he had shown up in my room with it and I was frustrated with the silence over it. I would ask and he would pretend not to hear me. It was frustrating, so this morning the silent treatment on my end had begun.

Every minute brought me closer to my son. Carlisle said this Friday would be the day, it was Tuesday. I was excited to see him. To know who he favored and ,though it would be easier for me if it was me, I hoped he favored Edward. I sank back in my pillows and thought about him with my eyes closed, a small smile playing on my lips.

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Jake asked, a hard edge to his voice.

My eyes snapped, I was instantly angry, Jake has become so possessive of me in the last week, it wasn't like him.

"So what if I was," I shouted forgetting that I was supposed to be calm, "Can't I even think freely here?"

"You're with _me _aren't you? Why would you even need to think about him, I should be enough!" he was standing now and had thrown his hands in the air.

"This is _his _baby Jake, it's natural I would think about him!" I started feeling very dizzy, I'd done it now.

"The he shouldn't have been such an ass, Bells. Do you honestly think he loves you?" Jake had his back to me now and couldn't see how much that comment hurt me.

"I never said he did! Damn it Jake can't you just shut the hell up?" I screamed.

I was vaguely aware that one of the machines attached to me began beeping in an alarming way, I was seeing spots, damn it. Damn it! Why couldn't he just keep his stupid trap shut? Stupid Jake. A sudden and severe headache was setting in, I could hear someone moaning and I looked around to find the source, realizing it was me.

Then, _he _was in my room. What in the holy hell was going on here?

"Edward?" I asked in disbelief.

"Black, I swear if she or my child is hurt because of you inability to shut up, I will give you a matching set and blacken your other eye!" he was talking to Jake in a very low and threatening tone.

He knew! Who told, I was going to find them and skin them. He was here for me then, or at least the baby. I put my hands to my head, god it hurt. If they could just be quiet I could make sense of this, I was starting to be so confused. I couldn't think. The beeping became nerve grating, I tried to unplug whatever offensive thing was making that damnable beeping.

The next thing I knew Carlisle was running into my room, poking me and asking me questions I couldn't form enough of a sentence to answer. Things were moving so fast, I vomited, someone cleaned it up. They'd made Jake and Edward leave the room, Esme was holding my hand.

"Where's Edward?" I muttered.

"Carlisle thought it best if he and Jake left the room, he needs to get you prepared to get the baby out," Esme looked worried.

"I _want _Edward, get him back, now,"I hissed.

"Ok, I'll go get him," She assured me.

I beginning to feel tired, what were they giving me? Edward's face was haggard, he looked so worried, it had been so long since I had laid eyes on his messy hair, his green eyes, his bronze hair. I began to cry, not helping Carlisle's efforts to calm me, I imagined. He walked to me and sat in the chair Esme had occupied, his face so close to my own, his sweet scent calming me instantly.

"I'll be back, try to keep her calm, I'm going to send the nurses into get her once I am sure the OR is free, I'll have them get you changed into scrubs, this baby will be here in the coupld of hours," Carlisle walked out.

I reached out to him, feeling the stubble on his cheeks.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I should have told you, I was such a coward," I was crying again, "I love you, even now."

**EPOV**

She looked so frail, so sick, I couldn't stay out of the room while Jacob Black upset her like that. Damn me, I had to go get him to shut the hell up. I stalked into the room and got as close to Black as I could stand and said to him in the lowest tone I could muster, "Black, I swear f she or my child is hurt because of you inability to shut up, I will give you a matching set and blacken your other eye!"

Had she said my name?

"You both have to leave, now!" Jessica, one of the nurses, said to us sternly.

"I don't want to leave her! I can't just leave her in there by herself," I tried to argue but Jake was pushing me into the hall.

"Take your filthy paws of me Black," I growled.

"Look, Masen, she came to me she is her with me, she is going to marry me,"he hurled the words out like they were stones.

"We'll see, mongrel," I seethed.

It was then I saw Esme, her brow furrowed, walking towards me. Jake made to walk towards the room, but she stopped him.

"Bella wants Edward Jake," she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

I walked into the room as quickly as I could, Carlisle nodding to me, I sat in the chair nearest to Bella's bed. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked like someone who had lost weight, despite being pregnant. Still, she was so beautiful. She reached her hand out for me, I fought the urge to pull back out of habit, and when her skin touched mine it was like an electric current.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I should have told you, I was such a coward," She said through her tears, which tore at my heart, "I love you, even now."

"I know Bella, I treated you so poorly. You gave me this precious gift," I placed my hand on her very large tummy, "I gave you harsh words and bitterness. I am so sorry, you have to believe me."

I laid my head on her soft, cold knuckles. The chill struck me, she was usually so warm, for the first time, I was frightened. Then, as though no one else was in this hectic beeping room, she put her other hand on my cheek, I looked up, she pulled my face to her, and kissed me in the most gentle, loving way. My heart ached from it.

"Ok, it's time," Jessica tapped my shoulder.

"I'll be right there with you Bella," I squeezed her hand and stood so they could roll her to where she needed to be.

"I need you to put these on," Jessica handed me a set of scrubs," then I will help you with the rest and we will get you in there."

I changed with as much haste as I could. Looking at myself in the mirror I was stunned, I was about to be a father. A month ago I didn't even know, today, I was changing my life. I thought I was ready.

I followed Jessica into the Or, Bella was already there, the sheet obstructing the view of her lower half.

"I'm here," I whispered into her ear.

"I'm scared Edward," she whispered back.

"I know, so am I, you'll be ok," I whispered, trying to infuse it with the love I had for her.

"Ok, we're going to get started," Carlisle said.

He told us what he was doing with each step, I ignored him. I watched over the curtain with trepidation, Bella's blood bring up feelings of protection in me that I didn't even understand. After about five minutes they pulled him out, his cries were the most magical sound, tears ran down my face. I looked down at Bella, pride swelling in my chest.

"Bella he is beautiful, he has the fullest head of, well my hair," I smiled down at her so wide it almost hurt.

They let me cut his cord and I hovered over him as the nurses cleaned him up and did their measurements. His wails made me laugh, he had such an attitude! I looked over at Bella, she was shaking.

Carlisle, is the shaking normal" I asked.

"Yes, but you should go when they take the baby," he said an edge to his voice.

"What is it, what's wrong," Bella's eyes were shut now, fear gripped me.

"She's lost a lot of blood Edward, if I can't find where it's coming from," he trailed off.

The nurse handed me my son, I held him tightly to me.

Bella could not die.

We needed her.

_I _needed her.


	20. Coming Together

**It's a short update LOL but I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that!!**

**I have also tsarted a new fanfiction .net/s/4901144/1/Lovesick **

**Give it a shot!! It should be interesting!**

**Thanks for all the reviews guys!**

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**EPOV**

_Tick, tick, tick._

The sound of the clock was deafening as I waited in the waiting room for news of Bella. They had taken the baby to the nursery. It had been nearly two hours, I was beginning to fear the worst and it was ripping me part. I finally sat down, exhausted.

"Edward," Carlisle came out, his smile lightening my dread considerably, "She has been in recovery for about an hour, we stopped the bleeding and gave her some blood but she will be fine. We have her room waiting, go there now and she should be in shortly."

I let a breath I didn't realize I was holding, out.

Jake was in her room, I wouldn't make him leave, he had every right to be here, but so did I . We sat on opposite sides of the room, glaring at each other.

"Charlie will be here soon," Jake said, "he thinks the baby is mine."

"Well, it should be obvious once he sees Gabriel that he isn't," I growled.

"Yea, this was the part Bells and I hadn't worked out yet," he shrugged.

When he referred to Bella as Bells, my skin crawled, I couldn't stand to think they may have been intimate, though I'm sure they had been.

A man walked into the room, he was tall, a medium build, dark hair, dark mustache, and in a sheriff's uniform. He must be Charlie.

"Jake," he nodded to Black, "Who's that?"

I stood, "My name is Edward Masen, I was a friend of your daughter while she lived in Chicago, I'm Esme's nephew."

"Oh," he said, in a knowing fashion, "I remember you. You stayed her one summer, when.."

"My mother died," I finished for him.

Didn't anyone in this little town _not _know about that?

"Bella should be here shortly, as well as Gabriel," my lips involuntarily smiled proudly with the mention of my son.

"Ok," Charlie made a face.

The three of us created a tension in the room that could have been cut by a knife. I fidgeted, when would this be over?That's when they brought Bella back into the room followed shortly behind by Gabriel. It took everything I had not to snatch up my child and take him to Bella, but I didn't know how strongly Bella wanted to cling to the charade she had constructed here. So I waited casually, watching Charlie put it together on his own.

Jake picked up Gabriel, which made my blood boil, and took him to Bella. I watched as Charlie looked from the baby, to Jake, to me, seeing the spark of recognition in his eyes. I moved to sit on the other side of Bella.

Waiting.

**BPOV**

I was still very tired, I guess losing blood will do that to a person. I just wanted to see my son. To hold him, smell him, kiss him. I didn't expect to be wheeled into the most awkward situation of my life.

I watched as Charlie looked from Gabe , to Jake, then to Edward. He knew. He knew I had lied. This was not going to end well. Jake brought Gabe to me, once he was in my arms, all was righ with the world.

His eyes were blue, like all babies, but his hair, oh his hair was Edward's. The mop of it stuck up every which direction in the wondrous bronze. He had Edward's nose and lips, I nuzzled his cheeks, loving the feel of his soft skin, he grunted a little. I began to cry.

"Aw Bells," Charlie said, wiping at his own face.

Edward slid a hand onto my shoulder, lovingly.

"Jake, can you go get Esme," I never took my eyes off Gabe, "she'll want to meet him."

"Sure Bells," he stood and left.

"Dad," I spoke as soon as Jake was out of ear shot, "This is Edward, Gabriel's father."

"Bella, now why did you lie to me?" he asked.

"It was Jake's idea, I just didn't want to deal with it. I know it was irresponsible and wrong I'm sorry, but I'm being honest now,"I sighed, "Edward didn't even know when I left."

"Bella," my dad scolded me.

"I know, believe me I know, he's here now though, and I can only hope he forgives me," I looked at Edward from under my lashes.

"There is nothing to forgive," his velvet voice was thick with emotion as he put his arm around me and allowed Gabe to wrap his tiny hands around his finger.

"Bella!!!" a familiar voice sand, Alice was here," Oh Bella he is beautiful," she tussled Edward's hair.

"Alice, would you like to hold him?" I asked, smiling.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Did you really need to ask, of course I do!"

She had brought Jasper with her and they sat cooing over Gabe, warming my heart. Before I knew it the whole Cullen clan was in my room, even Emmet and Rose. They really were my family, I cried again, and Edward embraced me, I cried harder.

What was I going to do about Jake? I had already hurt him once, I was supposed to marry him, could I tell him no a second time? Probably not, but I wanted to be with Edward, of course I didn't know of he wanted me. I suppose we would sort it out later.

The scene around me was enough to keep me happy, for now.


	21. Two Strands

**Ok, be sure to have some tissues handy ladies!**

**Thanks for being patient while I updated lovesick!! Trust me it is worth it for this chapter!**

**As always I do not own Twilight!**

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**BPOV**

Edward had been living in Forks with my father for nearly two months. He refused to leave without me and Gabriel. It made me love him more, yet I was still living with Jake. I couldn't bring myself to hurt him again, I was going through the motions of planning our wedding. He was safe, predictable. I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt me.

I couldn't bring myself to choose and my cowardice was putting Edward's life on hold, he had his father come back to Chicago and run the firm there. I felt awful. At the same time, I didn't want him to leave. My wedding to Jacob was in one week, I was at the last fitting for my dress. Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn't look like the thrilled bride, I looked like an emotional zombie. Alice noticed too.

"Bella, why are you doing this to yourself, you belong with Edward, you know you do," she fluffed the veil.

"Alice, stop it, you're only making this harder. You know I want to be with Edward," I sighed, shrugging Alice off me.

"It doesn't have to be this way, he won't leave without you, he loves you," she continued.

I could taste the acidic hatred in my mouth when I whirled around to face her.

"Really, you're sure? He's never so much as hinted to me that he loves me, maybe him telling me that himself would make this easier!" I yelled.

"Never?" Alice questioned.

"No Alice, never. I've told him but he hasn't told me," I sighed, "maybe if he told me that I would have some magical epiphany and throw myself into his arms."

I laid on the sarcasm thickly, to mask the pain.

Alice ignored me, walking away and texting, I didn't care, at least I wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. I didn't need the constant reminders.

**EPOV**

Gabriel had just gone down for his nap, Bella had asked me to watch him while she had her _wedding _dress fitted, just the thought of it made my blood boil. Isabella Marie Swan was _mine. _If I could just figure out how to win her back. Even her father, Charlie, was in my corner. I was living with him, in Bella's old room, it was more than a little awkward but it allowed me to have access to my son and still be close to Bella.

My phone vibrated, damn it, what could the office want now.

_I have a plan---Alice._

Alice had a plan? For what?

**ALICE POV**

Clearly I was going to have to get these two together, never told Bella he loved her, idiot. I sighed. I had a plan though. Jasper and I still hadn't left for him and were staying in my old room, the small bed was uncomfortable but I enjoyed the closeness. He was getting along great with my entire family! He was going to fit in perfectly, I loved him all the more.

"Jazz," he looked at me taking my breath away, "I need you to take Edward to Port Angeles and buy a tuxedo, we have a bacheloret party to plan, without the guests."

"Oh, I think I can handle that," he said in his southern drawl.

The urge to not allow him to go was hard to fight, his mischievous smirk was truly my weakness.

"Take Emmet, Rose and I will keep you updated on how we are setting up things, we only have a few days and to has to be perfect,"I crushed my lips to his.

I called Rose and my mother and we started the plans.

"Ok," I said to them, "We will hire a limo to com get Bella. I will pick out her outfit, Rose you will do her hair, Mom, you are in charge of watching the baby."

Everyone nodded.

"I'll come here just before, set up the candles and finish getting Edward's piano cleaned up. Set the mood," I was so excited about this.

Once we were all on the same page, we split up, buying all the things we would need and getting the piano out of storage. This was going to be fun.

**BPOV**

I just wanted to get this damn party over with, I hadn't expected Alice to bring me an outfit, by the look of the dress, we were going somewhere very very nice. The black satin dress was strapless and black except a single stripe along the top, under the breast, and just above the three ruffles at the bottom. It was beautiful. The shoes, however, were black strappy death traps.

"Knock, knock," Rose's voice chimed, she fit in so well with us.

"Yea, yea," I grumbled.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine, aren't you excited at all?" she scolded.

"Yea, to have this over with," I mumbled.

I sat down as she began the process to girlify me. It took her about two hours to pull my hair on top of my head and create the most intricate bun of curls I have ever seen, complete with a small row of pearls encircling it.

"You do know I'm not getting married tonight, right," I said touching it in awe.

"Yes, I do, but I want you to look nice for tonight. NO touching," she smacked my hand.

"Ow!" I complained.

"Go get dressed the limo will be here to get you in about half an hour, we'll meet you at Esme's" she smiled and trotted off.

I sighed, it was going to be a long night.

**EPOV**

Had I ever been this nervous, the bar exam, taking over at the firm, being alone with Bella for the first time, nope, never been this nervous, ever. I watched Alice quickly lighting the candles of all sizes, it was a magnificent effect in this room with the glossy piano and the huge window.

"You'll be fine," she smiled, lighting the last one.

"Are you sure?" I wanted promises.

"Yes, you belong together," she looked into my eyes, she always seemed to know things.

"I know, I've known all along, why did I fight it so hard?" this was rhetorical.

**BPOV**

The limo pulled closer to the Cullens' home and I notice the second floor window had a warm glow, as if lit by a million candles, I wondered what was going on. Stepping out of the lino I was met by Jasper, in a full black and white tux with tails, my shock must have registered on my face.

"Ma'am." his twang was thick, "may I lead you to your dream, it's waiting."

He offered me his arm, confused, I took it.

"Jasper, what did Alice do?" I asked, not looking up at him.

"Ah, don't you worry your pretty little head about that," he said.

Jasper took me inside and let go of me.

"Follow the rose pedals, they will take you where you belong," I sensed his words had a double meaning and my heart began to pound.

I hesitated for a minute before deciding to follow the rose pedal trail. As I got closer I could hear the piano, all the blood in my body rushed to my face, what did Alice do? Walk, don't run, I had to remind myself. I thought I might explode.

I came to the door of a very familiar room, candle light pouring out of it, along with my song. My beautiful song.

When I crossed the threshold the sight took my breath away. Edward was in white tuxedo, with tails, at the piano, his eyes closed, the candle light playing in his beautiful bronze hair, messy as always. Suddenly it was as though all the color and sound returned to my world. I truly did belong with him. He suddenly looked up at me, instinctively I knew he wanted me to sit beside him, so I did.

"Bella," he continued to play as he spoke, "this song, is us. The sadness is me, it starts out melancholy, self loathing, then beauty begins to trickle in, light, life, all things good. That's you. The two stands of music blend together, The love bringing the sadness out of itself, joining; mingling in ways it hadn't previously thought possible," he paused.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek, this was so much like my dream, so much like it.

"Before, the sadness fought the love. Believing it was unworthy, a tarnished, hateful thing. Then the love left, and the sadness resumed unchecked," the song changed tugging at my heart, "It continued like this for years, until, the love showed up when least expected. The love gave of itself, not caring it wasn't returned. The sadness didn't know what it had."

I wiped at my eyes with a tissue. He continued.

"Now, the sadness has become greedy and doesn't want to let the love go."

Edward stood, taking my hand and turning me around on the piano bench until I faced him. He knelt onto one knee and I could feel my heart in my throat, the candle light warmed his green eyes, my chest ached.

"I should have told you this before, from the very first time I saw you and every day after that. From that very first day, I knew I loved you, that I only ever wanted you. You can't marry Jake, if you do, I will surely die! Marry me, come home, marry me in Chicago. Alice has everything set up and waiting, in two days time, you and I can be married," he paused, eager for my answer.

"Damn you Edward!" I shouted, watching him wince, "Why couldn't you have done this before, before I had to hurt someone else to follow my heart to you?"

I watched at the stunned realization that my answer was hidden in that statement, wash over his face.

"Bella, I love you, I don't want to be without you, ever, be my wife," he pulled a box out of his pocket.

The ring inside was old, it was unlike any I had ever seen before, tiny leaves attached to delicate vines made up the bad, small diamonds throughout, it was beautiful.

"It was my mother's," he said, still waiting.

I looked down at the ring already on my finger. Tearing it off and tossing it I replied with my whole heart.

"When can we be back in Chicago?"


	22. For the readers

**Ok guys, not really an update LOL but I have added a few things to my profile. I added a link to Bella's engagement ring, a link to the dress she wore during the proposal and a link to Edward's version of her lullaby.**

**Let me know if you like them and maybe I will start adding them as I go!**


	23. The Path That Led Us Here

**Ok I want to give a very special thanks to thecornergirl for helping me through this chapter! If you like it, thank her, she has been giving me the best advice all day long!**

**The next chapter will be similar to this but from BPOV. **

**Lovin all the reviews and the love, you guys rock!! The best ever!**

**Leave me some reviews tell me what you like!**

**As always I do not own Twilight**

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**EPOV  
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I looked at myself in the long mirror, smiling despite my nerves. Alice had picked the colors well, I loved that little demon. Bella would soon be Isabella Marie Masen. It had a ring to it. My smile took on a crookedness.

What had brought us to this point? I n the last few days, before our wedding, I found myself wondering down familiar roads in my memory. When Bella had crossed my path everything around me was tainted by my own sorry and self hatred. I had been so completely broken, yet somehow, her light found a way to pierce the darkness. She had changed me, in ways I didn't yet know at the time.

As I remembered my trip to Forks, I could feel the love for her well up in my chest, replacing the grief and sorrow the memory usually exuded.

-------------FLASBACK------------

"Son, you'll be happier with Esme," my father tried to reassure me, never really looking my way.

My mother hadn't even been in the ground a full twenty-four hours before he told me he was shipping me off. I didn't blame him, I couldn't stand the sight of myself either Why would he want me here, I had taken my own mother from us both. I heaved a sigh into the car.

"I'm sure you're right Dad," I was fighting the tears that were always on the edge of falling.

Rubbing my chest, I squeezed my eyes shut, I didn't want my dad to think I was so soft.

The responsibility of what I had done was crushing me, I wasn't entirely sure it wouldn't eventually kill me. I mean, how could one person endure all this emotional turmoil? What kind of person was I that I had pushed my own mother off the balcony. No matter how many times someone assured me it was an accident, I knew what they were really thinking; murderer. I agreed with them, I was vile.

Esme was very caring and I did love her, maybe getting out of the house would make the nightmares stop. Esme and my mother looked only a tiny bit alike, but their hearts were mirror images. She often put my needs or the needs of her family before her own. Staying up late into the night when they or I were sick. Running to my mother's side whenever she needed her. They had been close, part of me felt as though Esme blamed me, it tainted our relationship slightly.

Since, her death, my mother had visited my dreams. They weren't always the same, some would start out as pleasant memories, lulling me into a false sense of security. Then, when I would least expect it, my mother would start to fall, I could catch her, I couldn't stop it. My mothers terrified face seemed to be etched in my sleeping mind with so much detail it was cruel.

Esme was waiting for me when we arrived at the airport, Doctor Cullen, Alice, and Emmet by her side. My father got out and I followed suit, it seemed as though I had been on auto pilot of ages.

"Be good son," his voice was thick with emotion.

"Sure dad," I said,hugging him, avoiding saying I love you for the fear of rejection.

"Oh Edward!" Alice flung herself on me, "You will come home with us and it will be better, you'll see. You can't give up! It wasn't your fault! Oh, I love you!"

I held her tightly to me, we had always been close, more like bother and sister or twins for that matter. If one of us was emotionally distressed the other felt it intensely and so I could not refuse her, I knew her anguish and it could bury you alive. It certainly was giving it a damn good try with me. Her tears began to soak through my shirt, she peeled herself of of me and we walked hand in hand towards the plane that would take us to forks.

I didn't dare sleep on the way, no need to subject people to my nightmares, which made for a long flight, Alice's tiny hand in mine the whole way, comforting me

I skipped through so many songs on my iPod, not being able to really listen to most of them, stopping on Claire De Lune, clenching my jaw. My mother had loved this song, it was the first thing she taught me to play on the piano. My eyes began to burn, I clamped them shut, not here.

Lightly, Alice's hand tightened on mine as she reached and took one of my ear buds and placed it in her own ear. I felt her hot tears fall on my hand, which released my own, and together we cried, unashamed. Some of the passengers were staring, but fuck them, they were prying where they didn't belong.

I turned to Alice, she smiled at me weakly, then laid her head on my shoulder, I was glad to know someone could still stand to be near me. My father had barely touched or looked at me sense the death of my mother. Not once had he said he loved me, not even once.

When we arrived in Washington to a light drizzle, a torrential rain would have better fit my mood, but the drizzle was enough. It dampened everything, just the same way the sorrow in me did. Everything took on a shade of grey, it mirrored just the way I felt. Everything had lost its color for me. Food had lost its taste. My favorite smells all seemed the same. The light had left my hollow green eyes.

We all piled into Carlisle's BMW, Esme and the good doctor in the front, me, Alice, and Emmet in the back. Maybe saying Emmet took up half of the seat on his own would paint a better picture. The boy was huge.

"You'll love Forks Edward, it's not as cold as it was in Alaska so we can do a lot of things outdoors. There is even a stream behind the house," Esme turned in her seat to see my reaction.

I forced a smile as best I could, I think I may have preferred that they were still in Alaska, at least there the cold would match the numbness I felt. It was in self preservation that I began to shut off my emotions one by one. It was easier to not feel at all then to be berated with feelings of guilt and bitter hate.

"We're here, Edward, welcome home," Esme smiled broadly, though it never reached her eyes.

The house was large, old, snugly placed in a clearing, just in front of a stream. It was very beautiful, my mother would have loved it. She and Esme shared a love of old houses. Both sisters enjoyed renovating them, hence our own Victorian home.

I was rubbing my chest again, it seemed as though that would become a habit.

"We hope you'll like it here, Edward," Carlisle said carrying one of my bags into the house, "We have a surprise for you, it is awaiting you on the second floor."

His bright, genuinely happy smile made the corner of my mouth tug upward ever so slightly. As my Uncle, he had always been there for me, taking me camping when my fathe4r couldn't, he was like a second father to me. He was a great doctor, compassionate and kind. He and Esme complimented each other well. He was the head of the family and no one questioned him because they knew he would always have their best interests at heart.

I walked up the stairs, listening to the creak under my weight.

"Just down the hall," Alice squealed, "The last door, yes that's it."

I cracked the door, half afraid of what I might find, and saw a black baby grand piano in the room. The tears were rising in my eyes again, damn it, must I have an emotional breakdown every five minutes?

There were two large windows in the room, almost giving the illusion of being outside. I wondered at the peacefulness of it. In the corner was a small staircase with a large houseplant at the bottom of it. There was a dark wood book shelf in the corner, it was short and on the top there were pictures. On closer inspection, the pictures were of my mother. I wiped at the maddening tears, Esme knew how to get to your heart.

"Alice, where does that lead?" I pointed towards it.

"Oh, my room, of course," she smiled, " I gave up my study area for your piano. Don't worry though, no one will bother you."

"Alice," I said quietly, " you didn't have to do that. Thank you, I love you."

"I know," she hugged me tight.

I spent the next week in that room or in my room sleeping. I use the word sleeping loosely. I would sleep, have a nightmare, wake up, then start the whole process over. I was tired and it was making me more moody that I already was.

"Edward, come eat with us!" Esme yelled for me, barely audible over the sound of the piano.

I groaned but I stopped playing anyway, Esme was trying to be motherly and I would allow it. Though I suspected it was more out of a feeling of responsibility for her sister's son than anything else. After all, I had taken her sister from her. The thought made me run my fingers through my hair.

"Hi Edward," Alice chimed, " This is Bella, she is my best friend. She's staying with us for the week"

Everything in the room slowed down when I saw her. Bella, standing slightly behind Alice, blushing. Her brown hair shinning in the light of the room, her brown eyes so beautiful it hurt.

I felt like I needed to get away from her, why should Bella be subjected to my particular brand of loathing? What if I hurt her, what if she ended up like my mother. Everything in my body was screaming out against involving myself with this girl.

"Hi," I said curtly.

Alice's brow furrowed, I needed to tread carefully with her, this was her best friend and Alice was mine. I could talk to her and she understood, I didn't want to lose that. If I didn't have Alice to talk to, I would go insane. No one understood me like she did, she always knew what to say to calm my mind.

"I'm Edward Masen," I offered her my hand.

When she took it, it felt like electricity jolted through me and, by the look of her raised eyebrow, she felt it too.

Over the next three days I would wake before everyone and go into the room with the piano and play until everyone else was in bed. Periodically, Esme would bring me food, which I rarely ate, she was worried about me. She kept mentioning the weight I was losing, the dark circles under my eyes. I hated to see her upset.

I heard a tiny click, I thought it was Esme, trying to push more food on me no doubt, I was shocked when no one spoke. I looked up, scanning the room, while I played.

In the corner, hiding behind a large houseplant, was Bella.

A song filled my mind, a song for her. I dove into it, my chest aching form the emotional release. Was she crying? I continued playing, pounding out my love for her on the keys.

That's what it was really, love.

I loved a girl I barely knew, completely and without remorse. I watched as her mouth opened in a small yawn, eliciting a lopsided grin from me. She fell asleep, there I the corner, to the song I had written her, as though it was a lullaby.

Not wanting to leave here there, I quietly crossed the room. I kneeled down in front of her, afraid to touch her. I wasn't afraid I would wake her, I was afraid that once I touched her there would be no going back. That she would become part of me in a way that I didn't want anyone to be.

Shaking the thought from my mind, I snaked my arms around her and lifted her. I remember that the stairs led to Alice's room, so, I started up them

"Edward?" Alice turned around confused, "Bella? What on earth is going on?"

"She was listening to me play," I said, laying her on Alice's bed and gently brushing the hair from her face, "I must have bored her, clearly."

Alice chuckled, "Bella could be good for you Edward."

"No, Alice, absolutely not,"I became vehement.

"Edward, it's ok," she said, nearing, "you won't hurt her, you wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Tell that to my mother," I spat, " you would risk your best friend's life like that?"

Tears spilled onto Alice's normally cheerful cheeks. I instantly regretted my word but couldn't take them back, they were true.

"Edward, you can't really think that," she whispered now, "I know you. You are kind, generous, loving. This isn't you, whatever this grief and false sense of responsibility has done, it's not you."

"It is now, Alice," I sighed, hugging my cousin tightly, " I can't risk anyone I care about anymore. I don't think I could survive if something else happened."

I released Alice and went back down to my piano, but she followed me, being sure to close the door behind her. She wasn't going to give up on this. I was going to have to hurt her and I didn't like the prospect of it.

"Edward, please, can't you at least try.? Bella could understand you too. Why can't you allow yourself even one comfort?" she had her hands o her hips, the sunset behind her a beautiful backdrop.

"Why do I deserve comfort Alice? " I could feel the dark clouds on the horizon of my mind, she was pushing me too far, " All day I play this piano. I try to purge the quit and the fear, but they don't subside. Every night I see her face, terrified, just beyond my reach, and I hate myself anew. These hands, the ones that create the beautiful music everyone loves, are the hands of a killer. Do you want the hands of a killer on your best friend?"

I could feel the insane expression on my face as I yelled, I felt insane. I was revealing to Alice how I truly felt. I didn't deserve good things or love. Everything I touched suffered. I shouldn't be allowed to be happy or in love.

These were things she wanted for me but I had stolen them from my own mother, so why should I enjoy them? I could hear Alice quietly sobbing, she had sank to the floor from the ferocity of my words.

"Alice, oh Alice, I'm sorry," I stroked her short black hair, "don't you see what I've become? I can't be around Bella, I will only cause her pain. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"The don't Edward, it's that simple, don't let yourself mourn forever. Don't lose yourself to what could have been," she stood, sniffling, and left the room.

I wouldn't listen to her, I would not love Bella, I wouldn't love anyone, not ever. I didn't deserve it, I was a monster. A murderous beast and I would not forget that.

I was brought back into the present by Alice.

"Edward, it's time," she smiled from ear to ear.

I wondered what Bella had been thinking about, hoping it was me, and left the mirror behind me.

I was ready to get married.


	24. The Path That Led Us Here BPOV

**Alright guys, here is your monday update!!**

**I will be including a picture of Alice's and Bella's dress on my profile! Feel free to check them out.**

**Next chapter, the wedding!!!**

**Leave me some love!**

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**BPOV**

Alice wouldn't let me see myself until she had "finished the whole package" and I was getting impatient. I hadn't gotten to pick this dress and she had me keep my eyes shut this entire time, it was getting old, quickly.

"Alice come on! Aren't you almost done, I want to see," I pouted.

"Just a few more touches," she said finishing my hair, "and voila!"

I opened my eyes as she spun me around to face the long mirror.

"Wow," I breathed.

The dress, was, well, absolutely beautiful. It had a deep v-neck with beautiful lace work on the top. My middle was wrapped in a pink ribbon from just under my breasts to below my naval. The skirt was gathered in several places, producing a billowing effect. It was perfect.

I turned to Alice, tears in my eyes, and saw her dress was just as beautiful. It was a deep wine color, simple in design, the bodice was fitted and the skirt was full. It enhanced her beauty and Rose's quite well. I thought Alice would make a great wedding planner.

I twirled in the mirror and was suddenly taken back to that fateful summer in my mind.

FLASHBACK

I was staying with Alice for the week, it was summer vacation and she had been very insistent, even asking Charlie behind my back. Of course, Charlie loved her, so she got her way. I was actually looking forward to it, Alice told me her cousin was staying with them for the summer, that his name was Edward. I was curious about him

When I arrived that afternoon, Esme, had made us lunch, pasta. She always liked to make me Italian food, it was sort of a joke she and Emmet had, because my name was Bella. She stalked off down the hall to yell for Edward.

"Edward, come eat with us please!" she called.

I stood in the kitchen, uncomfortable and nervous, picking at the hem of my shirt, when he walked in. Edward's green eyes bored holes in me with their intensity, the hair on my arms stood up and I attempted to rub it away. His hair was bronze and so messy I felt the urge to run my fingers through it. That made me feel a little awkward, why would I want to touch someone I hadn't even been introduced to yet?

"Hi Edward," Alice chimed, " This is Bella, she is my best friend. She's staying with us for the week."

His eyes flickered towards me, getting wide for a split second. Edward's hand flew up to his chest and rubbed the spot over his heart, which tugged at my own.

"Hi," he said curtly.

I was shocked by the edge in his voice, what on earth was his issue? I looked to Alice for guidance, her brow was furrowed. I wondered what she was thinking.

"I'm Edward Masen," he said, offering his hand.

I took his hand in mine, instantly shocked by the current that ran through him into me. My jaw dropped open and we quickly let go. What _was _that? I had never felt anything like it and the pull I felt towards him intensified from that one minor touch.

The next few days, Alice and I spent hiking, which nearly killed me more than once thanks to my grace, and shopping. I desperately wanted to know more about the bronze haired boy who holed up with his piano and seemed so sad.

"Alice," I ventured, "why is Edward here this summer?"

"Oh," she sighed as a dark cloud passed onto her face, "his mother died and my mom thought staying with us would be good for him."

"How sad," I breathed.

"Yes, it is," she paused, scrunching her face searching for words, "You should know, Bella, this isn't how he normally is. He is a very good person under all this angst."

I didn't know what to say in reply. I mean, it wasn't like I wanted to marry the boy or anything, I was just curious.

"I'm sure he must be having an awful time Alice, I wouldn't judge him," I smiled gently in her direction.

She sighed and put her arm around me, "I know."

The next day,while Alice was in the shower, I heard him playing. I felt an urgent need to go listen, like the music was physically forcing me to come to him, like a siren song. I went to the door in the corner of Alice's room that I knew led to where the music was coming from, and I creep down the stairs. The large houseplant at the bottom was the perfect cover, I could sit there and listen to him unseen.

I was surprised he didn't hear me on the stairs, so I peeked at him. Edward's head was down, his eyes closed, completely focused. His pale hands and slender fingers, beautiful in their mastery of the keys. The music stirred things in me that I couldn't comprehend.

The song was sad, yet hopeful, and drew me in completely. I began to feel warm, like a cozy blanket was being wrapped around my shoulders, totally relaxed. I yawned and began to feel drowsy. Briefly, I noticed that he seemed to be smiling the most wonderful crooked smile at me. Did he know I was there?

I tried to fight my drooping eyelids, to no avail and I was shortly asleep.

When I woke up I was in Alice's room on her comfy bed. Alice was staring at me, smiling slightly.

"Well, did I do tricks while I slept," I joked, " because you look pretty entertained."

"I think my cousin is in love with you," she said very simply.

"What?!" I freaked out a little, "I highly doubt that Alice, come one, we just met."

"Yea, you did," she continued, " but I still think one day, you'll end up together, happily ever after."

A huge goofy grin spread over her face, and I thought, _oh please. _

The next day, Alice went shopping in Port Angeles with Esme, while I stayed behind, I had had enough shopping. I decided to make myself lunch and go eat by the stream behind the house, the weather was beautiful and I didn't think I should be wasting it indoors.

I laid down a blanket I had found in Alice's closet, the sun felt warm on my arms, I enjoyed the feeling. Placing the basket on the ground along with a sweater I had worn outside but had become to warm in, I sat down and listened to the stream flow by, it was very relaxing. I began to eat my sandwich, wondering what Alice was buying at that moment.

"Hi Bella," a smooth velvety voice said from behind me.

"Holy crap!" I jumped, knocking a small bag of chips to the ground, "Um, hi."

Edward stood behind me, a half smile playing on his lips. Goodness he was beautiful.

"Sorry I scared you Bella," he said helping me pick up the spilled food, "I hadn't expected to find you out here."

"Yea, Alice went shopping, I opted not to go," I smiled back.

His hand brushed mine and I felt the shock again, I knew he did too because he audibly hissed.

"You feel it too!" I exclaimed.

"Feel what, I have no clue what you are talking about," he denied.

"That electricity when we touch, you felt it I heard you," I rambled, "I thought I was crazy."

Edwards hand flew to his chest, rubbing it again. I felt as though that wasn't a good omen of the path of our conversation. He seemed to always be doing that when he was uncomfortable.

"I felt no such thing, I only was shocked at how cold your hand was," he chided, "I feel no attraction to you whatsoever."

The heat in my cheeks gave me away, how dare he. He was lying, through his smug little teeth, I was outraged and he was about to know it.

"Fine," I said, "I'll just take my basket and go inside. You can sit here and listen to the stream. Maybe it will attract you so much you jump in!"

I jerked the basket off the ground and huffed off. About halfway back to the house I realized I had left my sweater behind, I wondered if I left it, if he would bring it in for me, sparing me the humiliation of returning for it now.

I turned to face the stream, debating to myself the pros of getting my sweater back. The scene that greeted my eyes left me in awe.

Edward Masen stood on the blanket, holding my sweater, breathing in the scent of it.

Maybe Alice was right.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by Alice.

"Bella? Bella, are you ready, he's waiting for you, everyone is," her smile grew impossibly wider.

"Yes, Alice, I'm ready."


	25. Hearts as One

**Is everyone ready for the wedding???? **

**I have left links to the type of lily in Bella;s bouquet and the song that inspired the vows in my profile!!**

**I hope everyone enjoys the wedding! Can't wait for the reception!**

**Leave me some love as a wedding gift :)**

**A/N I do not own Twilight!**

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**EPOV**

I was nervous, not because I was marrying the best woman on earth, but, because I was doing it on the balcony.

We had discussed it, Bella was totally against it, thinking it would cause me undue stress.

"Absolutely not Edward," she had said, "I don't want you to have to taint your wedding day by that awful time in you life."

"Bella, I'm not tainting it," I countered, "I am reclaiming it. It would be symbolic for me."

And it was. For me, sharing this moment with my soul mate, on that balcony would mean taking the last step towards healing. I hadn't been on that balcony since the night of my mother's death. It would mean I could be whole again.

Emmet, my cousin and best man, could sense I was nervous.

"Dude, you'll be ok," he told me, " If you hesitate, I'll kick you in the ass."

"Thanks Em, I'm sure nobody would notice the footprint on the seat of my pants."

Emmett's hearty laugh filled me with warmth, I could do this, for Bella.

**Emmett POV**

Poor Eddie, he was sweating bullets. To the unknowing eye, he was nervous about his wedding, I knew better though. It was the balcony making him nervous. Why in the world he wanted to make his stand on that damned balcony I will never know, but, it was what he wanted. Jasper and I decided if that's what he really wanted, if we had to knock him out and play a recording of his vows.

Hell, it wasn't like anyone would really be able to tell from the yard.

Rose came in with Alice just as I was conspiring with Jasper wordlessly.

"It's time boys," Alice chimed.

"Ok, we're ready," I said, smirking.

"Yea, I think we can handle this," Jasper winked.

It was great how Jasper just fell into step with our family. I was so happy for my little sister, if she had found half of what I had with Rose, well, she would certainly be happy. I smiled at Rose and she blushed, she was always so beautiful.

"Oh please," Alice rolled her eyes, "haven't you two honeymooned enough?"

"No, little sister," I chuckled, "I'm not sure I could ever honeymoon enough."

The little congregation burst into laughter as Rose smacked my arm as hard as she could, it tickled a little.

"Emmett, are you going to act like this during the ceremony?" Alice looked peeved.

"Aw, Al, you never let me have any fun," I pouted.

Alice gave us our directions one last time, then Edward started to make his way out to the balcony to wait for the rest of us. I pulled him aside before anyone could notice.

"Eddie," I spoke softly, "Do you love her?"

"Of course I do," he replied.

"Then while you are on that balcony think of her, only her. Don't let the ghosts of the past drag you down. This day is for her, remember that, "I squeezed his shoulder as he nodded in reply.

"Thanks Em," he said.

I took my place among the wedding party, goosing Rose as I passed.

**BPOV**

Calm, I was completely calm. This is what I wanted, I was walking toward the other half of me, right into his strong arms. For better or worse, and lets face it Edward had his share of "worse" moments, he was mine.

I thought I would at least be uncomfortable in the dress, but, I didn't. Not one bit because I knew Edward would love it. It was amazing how much difference that could make in your life. Knowing that one person who is your match will like it. I twirled, admiring myself in the mirror.

"Bella, we're all waiting for you," Alice spoke reverently, "I never thought this day would really come. Even when I told you that I thought you would end up together some day. Thank you, for giving me back my cousin."

Alice hugged me as gently as she could, not wanting to mess up any detail. She handed me my bouquet, wine colored calla lilies and white roses, and put my veil down. I followed her down the familiar path form Edward's bedroom to the balcony room where the rest of the wedding party awaited me.

Charlie and Gabe were going to walk me down the isle, Charlie looked as though he had been crying. Tears involuntarily welled in my eyes.

"Hi dad," I said as I kissed Gabe lightly.

"Bells," he smiled, "you look beautiful."

"You ready?" I asked him.

"As ready as I'm going to be," he offered me the arm Gabe wasn't occupying.

I looked out the French doors and could see Edward craning his head to get a glimpse of me, his bronze hair made even more brilliant by the sun and his black tux. I smiled and felt my heart stutter, _mine._

The music, a recorded piece Edward had written expressing his joy for the occasion, began signaling us to start.

**EPOV**

The music started and my heart sped into high gear. I needed to see Bella, that would make me feel better about being on this balcony, so much better. Emmet and Rose came down the isle first, looking happy and in love as the smiled at me and took their respective sides. Alice, who was Bella's maid of honor but also refused to split up the couples, cam next, with Jasper.

I knew Bella was next, I swallowed hard in anticipation.

Then she appeared, like a vision, her dress was prefect, the pink ribbon blending with her pale skin magically. She was on the arm of her father who, lovingly, held my son. Gabe was absolutely beautiful, my love for him made my heart ache.

As her father placed her hand in mine, I thought my heart might stop and that would be ok, because I was now the happiest man alive. I could see her watery smile through the thin veil and I returned it, tears welling in my own eyes.

Carlisle, who had become ordained to be able to marry us, looked at us both and began.

"Today, we come before family and friends to join these two, Isabella and Edward, in everlasting love. The kind of love they share can only be found once in a lifetime and even the brightest star pales in comparison. Love is not an easy thing, it is full of bumps and cracks, but together, they can navigate the hardships of life and lean upon each other for strength, love, and compassion.

In our soul mate we find our best friend, our companion, our lover, our strength, our dreams, our inspiration. All the light of our lives in one person and it can be overwhelming. Realizing what you have found and being willing to pursue it is half the battle. Patience and understanding are required for such a bond to last, Isabella has displayed these qualities. For balance, impetuosity and passion must also be present, of these, Edward embodies both.

The fight to get here was uphill and long, but now we have reached the top and are ready to join these two in the way their paths had always intended.

Both Edward and Isabella have written their own vows. Isabella, we will start with yours," Carlisle's voice was strong with pride.

**BPOV**

I was suddenly nervous, what if my vows weren't enough? What if, after I fumbled my way through the, he left, laughing. Relax, Bella. I took a deep breath and began.

"Edward, you came into my life one sweet summer so many years ago, like the sun comes through a dirty yet beautiful stained glass window. Sorrow had dampened your life, your spirit. I never imagined our brief encounter would not only led to my beautiful son, but to a love beyond any words I could use to express it," I wiped at a tear running down my face.

"I promise to love you, even when you're being utterly ridiculous. I promise to to keep you standing when you feel like you can't. I promise not to take pictures of you playing your piano without your permission," now Edward was wiping away tears.

"You, Edward Masen, are my heart, my soul, the music that brings joy into my life. Forever and always."

"Now you, Edward," Carlisle said, his voice thick with emotion.

**EPOV**

Bella's words touched me so deeply that there wasn't a dark spot in my heart that was left unilluminated by her love. They gave me the strength to say my own vows.

"Bella, from the moment I saw you my heart recognized what my mind could not, that you were meant for me. I was drawn to you in way that terrified me and no matter how much I pushed you were there. When I left at the end of that summer the lack of your light allowed the darkness in my heart to take over; until you reentered my life softly, like a rainbow after a storm."

"I couldn't shake you and now, I never want to. When I wake up I want your face to greet me. When I roll over at night I want my hand to find your warm body next to me. I promise to remember that there is good in me. I promise to treat every breath you take like the gift that it is. I promise to protect you, even if it is from my own moods. I promise that when I look in the eyes of our son I will remember the small miracle her brought to me, in your love," my body shook from the force of my emotions.

"Isabella Swan, you are the beauty of my song, my muse, my life, my very breath. I refuse to continue in a world where you are not my wife. Forever and always."

We exchanged rings, I slid the small band onto Bella's pale, slender finger with a shaking hand. She was so beautiful.

"Let these rings serve as a reminder of the love you share and the promises made here today. Edward, you may kiss the bride," Carlisle's smile beamed.

I lifted the thin veil, exposing my wife, my heart. Bella's lips trembled as I leaned closer. When our lips touched it felt like a spark crossed between us. Her lips were soft, delicious. She flung her arms around me and out tears mingled together just as our lives finally had.

"May I introduce Mr. And Mrs. Edward Masen," Carlisle spoke to the crows gathered below our balcony.

Bella's smile faltered, for the briefest of moments, making me wonder what she had seen.

**BPOV**

As Carlisle introduced us my heart filled to overflowing with joy as I looked out onto the small group of our family and friends below us. That is, until I saw Jacob Black looking back up at me.


	26. Question and Answer

Q: Mrs. Lautner Rathbone Lutz 2009-03-11 . chapter 25

this chapter was so amazing. i have no words to describe just how amazing it was...just wow. the wedding part made me cry! did jacob know that bella was going to get married to edward?

**A: **Yes, Jake knew, I'm going to resolve that in the next chapter!

Q: From: HawraaN ( .net/u/1734248/ )  
Reply URL: .net/secure/review_?reviewid=80068405

so the wedding was edward house?no in forks?

Show quoted text -

**A: Yup**

Q:  
From: Emoeverafter ( .net/u/1753648/ )  
Reply URL: .net/secure/review_?reviewid=80067032

that chapter was awesome!( the one w/ the actual story) i have one question-  
what will jacob say? if u cant answer it w/out spoiling the next chapter then  
i will completely understand. plz update soon!

Show quoted text -

**A: you'll see in the next chapter**

Q: From: queenboogie16 ( .net/u/1306982/ )  
Reply URL: .net/secure/review_?reviewid=80063852

Ok so my question is: When Edward proposed to Bella did she go and cancel  
with Jacob? Or did she just leave without informing Jacob? I don't think that  
made sense :/ Like did she call Jacob and say hey I'm not getting married to  
you anymore or did she just leave without informing him? Is that why he's at  
her wedding now?

Show quoted text -

**A:Of course Bella told Jake. I'm addressing it in the next chapter! :)**

Q:From: dazzled eyes22 ( .net/u/1791707/ )  
Reply URL: .net/secure/review_?reviewid=80062727

Okay. Why did she avoid telling Jake about her feelings about Edward in the  
hospital and the proposal? Is scared of him? I can understand if this is  
something that we will find out soon.

Show quoted text -

**A: Next chapter**

Q:From: momams ( .net/u/1780284/ )  
Reply URL: .net/secure/review_?reviewid=80062687

You know this question is coming many many times.  
What is Jacob doing there?

Now after the obvious. Where is Edward's dad?  
as cathartic as standing on the balcony may be, I still don't understand  
Edward's reasons for it. How much time has passed since the day in Forks at  
the Cullen house?

Show quoted text -

**A: Edward's Dad is there. He just wasn't in the wedding party. It's been about two weeks. **


	27. Confrontation

**It's short I know :) It just resolved itself quickly. **

**Don't worry it's not the end, yet.**

**Jake loves Reviews like he loves Bella.**

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**BPOV**

My muscles instantly tensed as we made our way downstairs, knowing who was awaiting me at my reception.

Alice had out done herself, transforming the yard into a beautiful dance floor and dining area. There were paper lanterns hung through out the yard, more lilies were in vases and roses covered the poles holding the tent that covered it all.

Edward's hand was on the small of my back, easing my stress slightly.

"Bella, love, are you ok?" he asked, concern on his face.

"Yes, could I just have a second before we go face everyone, I need some air," I replied ducking out the side door where I knew Jake was.

When I had made the choice to leave Forks I knew hurting Jake again wasn't going to be easy. I knew he had willingly taken me in and thought he was finally getting what he had wanted all along, me. The conversation had been intense.

FLASHBACK

After my "bachelorette party", I'd gone to the house we shared to break the news to him. The closer I got to the front door the bigger the lump in my throat became. I was worried how he would take it, in so many ways he was like a lost puppy dog where it came to me and I hated to see him hurt. It was unavoidable though, I had to be true to my own feelings.

I found him sleeping in our bed, in just a pair of flannel pants, the pale light from the bathroom making his tan skin more beautiful than was necessary. Walking towards him with trepidation, I saw him stir.

"Bells?" he rubbed at his eyes trying to wake up.

"Yea, Jake, it's me. We need to talk," I spoke trying to hide the emotion in my voice.

He sat straight up, which was an impressive sight since he was nearly seven feet tall.

"What is it?" even in the dark I could see the dark cloud cross his face.

"I can't go through with the wedding, I'm sorry, I just can't," I sighted, barely speaking the words.

The room was silent, calm, eerie.

"Jake, I am sorry, I never imagined Edward would come here, he has asked me to marry him, I know you don't want to know this but, I love him," I wanted to reach out and touch his bareback, comfort him, I did love him just not enough.

Jake stood, his hair masking his face from me, for the first time I was scared of him. Jake had always been gentle, kind, loving, but you push someone too far and eventually, they snap.

"I took you in, pregnant by another man. I didn't care, I just was happy you came home," he snatched up both of my wrists in his enormous hands, it hurt, "I just wanted to make you happy, love you and now you are stabbing my heart and serving it to me on a platter?"

"Jake, I'm sorry. I love you, it's just not the same," I explained breathlessly, ignoring the fact that he was still squeezing my wrists.

Jake's dark laugh filled the darkness of the room.

"You love me," he laughed, "somehow I doubt that, how could you continuously kick the one you love in the face?"

"Jake, let me go, please," I started to squirm against him trying to break free.

"Bella, I hope the thought of me haunts you, just like Edward's memories haunt him," his voice was a low growl now.

"Don't worry," I said through my tears, "you will. You will be the dark shadow in the corners of my heart. My only mistake was not being able to love you enough."

With a sob, Jake let me go, his large frame sinking to the floor. I immediately crouched down beside him, wiping at his tears.

"Just go Bella," he spat brushing me off.

With those words, I left.

END FLASHBACK

Now I was about to face him again, on my wedding day.

"Bells," his voice, full of sweetness, caressed me.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I folded my arms across my chest.

"I wanted to introduce you to someone and thank you," he smiled.

"Thank me for what?" I scoffed.

"If you hadn't followed your heart I would have never been able to see who I really belonged with," he stated simply.

A girl, about my height, with copper skin that matched Jake's and dark long hair stretched her hand out to mine. I made no effort to hide my shock, my jaw grazing the floor.

"Hi, I'm Leah, I think our dad's know each other,"her hand fit perfectly in mine.

"Yea, um, I think they do," I stumbled through the words.

Jake leaned in close, kissed my cheek, then made his way, his arm lovingly around Leah, back into the crowd.

Edward appeared behind me, "Are you ready for the party now? If Alice has to wait for us much longer I think she may just introduce herself and Jasper as the happy couple."

I looked at my husband who flashed the half smile I loved so much.

"Sure, lets go."


	28. In the End

**Ok guys, this is it, the last chapter!! I'm so sad to see it end!!!**

**It is short but it is perfect. **

**Enjoy and leave me love!!**

**Stop by my other stories. **

**A.N I so NOT own Twilight**

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**BPOV**

The night flew by in a blur of dancing, food, watery smiles, and hugs.

My husbands hand was firmly in mine as we made our escape.

"Would you like to get out of here and go somewhere more private Mrs. Masen?" the smile on his face melted my heart.

Unable to speak through my emotions, I nodded. Alice and Jasper were keeping Gabe for the next few days to allow us some time alone, I thought Alice wanted to play house, I smiled, she really was family now.

I felt Edward tug my hand towards the house,_ our _house. We'd chosen to stay her eon our honeymoon, it would be fine anywhere as long as we were together.

We waved and said goodbye to the few stragglers, including Edward's father. Mr. Masen had been so happy to be there, he had pulled Edward aside but I still didn't know what he had said to him, but Edward was in tears when he returned to my side.

As we entered the house, there was nowhere I would rather be than gigging beside my husband like a little girl.

**EPOV**

My father had pulled me aside during the reception, I could tell he had been crying by the red rimmed eyes he was sporting, it tugged at my heart.

"Son," he started, "Your Mother would be proud. Your wife is beautiful and your son is perfect."

I was confused that he would bring up mom that way, we hadn't talked about her since her death.

"Don't be sad Edward. It was never your fault, what happened, you tried to save her. We all did in one way or another, she just didn't know how to reach out to us," he pulled me close to him and began to whisper, "I didn't send you away because I didn't love you or I blamed you, I sent you to Esme because it was killing me to watch you blame yourself. To watch my only child, my heart, fall to pieces and not know how to put him back together, I couldn't do it. I love you and I always have."

The hot tears stung my eyes.

"Dad, somehow, I have always known. I knew you were trying to do what you thought was best and, without you sending me to Esme, I would never have met Bella. Thank you," we silently embraced finally understanding.

I was brought out of my memory by the warmth of Bella's hand on my cheek, bringing a sigh out of me. She was _mine_. It made me feel whole.

"I love you," I purred as I pulled her into our bedroom.

"I love you too," she whispered looking at me through her thick lashes, biting her lip.

Our room was lit with candles, my dark blue bed sheets replaced with deep red ones, a white rose petal heart in the center. Alice must have been here, I would thank her later.

The glow on Bella's skin from the candles was wonderful, I stroked her cheek and noticed her breath hitch, I chuckled.

"Turn around," I stated simply.

With one hand I raised up her thick brown hair and with the other I unzipped her wedding dress. I slid it slowly down her body, not wanting to damage it, reverently placing it on the hangar Alice had prepared for it.

I turned and looked at Bella, standing there in her heels, underwear, and veil, my heart swelled with love.

**BPOV**

Normally, I would have felt exposed standing in the candle lit room in nothing but some expensive shows, lacy bra, and barely there underwear, but, the veil reminded me that this was my husband, mine forever. I sighed as I felt the heat invade every inch of my skin.

Edward walked towards me, still ridiculously handsome in his tux, a spark between use when he lifted his hand to raise the veil from my hair. He amazed me with his gentle touch, we hadn't been this intimate since before I had left for Forks.

Edward placed his hand on the small of my back, sending excited ripples through my core, and brushed his lips over my cheek. His hot breath made me shiver.

Running my fingers through his bronze locks, I decided to help him be rid of his clothes. Running my hands over his chest, I slid his jacket to the floor, then began making short work of the bow tie and buttons of his shirt and vest.

All the while, his contented sighs embraced me, driving me onward.

When he was finally more naked than I was, I pressed my lips to his, the kiss was soft, loving. Edward abandoned my lips and trailed kisses down my neck and across my collar bone, while he relieved me of my underwear and shoes. Lifting me, he took us both to the bed.

Edward lowered himself on top of me, kissing my lips again, gently nibbling my lower lip, making my breath speed up. I kissed his neck and listened and he moaned quietly,we were moving so slowly, it was maddening.

Finally, I took matters into my own has and threw my legs around him, driving him into me. I moaned loudly.

**EPOV**

When I felt Bella's warmth envelop me, all my plans for making love to her slowly and gently went out the window. I ravished her mouth with my own, loving the taste of her. I wanted to be as close to her as I could be, our skin constantly touched. Her moans and cries of ecstasy let me know I was doing the right things.

I ran my hands over her breasts and watched as her back arched beautifully, taking one of them in my mouth I felt her tug on my hair, making me drive into her harder. We began to move in time with each other, grinding against each other trying desperately to end together.

The look of concentration on Bella's face told me she was waiting for me before she would allow herself to climax, it was my undoing, all I needed to send me over the edge. I felt the tight coil of energy erupt and drank in Bella's face as she, too, finally found release.

As I lay in this bed, my arms and legs entwined with hers, I knew I was finally home.

**BPOV**

When the morning sun peaked through the curtains and lit up Edward's sleeping face, I cried.

It had finally hit me, he was mine, he would never leave, and he was perfect. Even with all his flaws, his emotional scars, he was absolutely perfect.

His heart was full of love and kindness. The look in his eyes as he held Gabe spoke of a never ending well of love and adoration for our tiny son. The way Edward's hand was always firmly at the small of my back made me feel safe. In this single man I had found my home, my love, my strength, my soul.

Silently, I thanked Alice for taking me in, because without her, I would have wondered through life half of a person and never even been aware.

As his sleeping hands roamed my sun-warmed skin, I felt my missing piece click into place.

Finally, we were joined by a love that had been there all along.

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**Some of you have expressedinterest in seeing me do a sequel. I think I'm goingto but I also would liketo do a Prequel.**

**How would you guys feel about a prequel?**


	29. Awakening was stolen and put elsewhere

It has come to my attention that my story has been stolen and posted on scribd .com//doc/15678098/Awakening

I am upset and beyond hurt that someone would just copy paste and take all the credit! If you have seen my story posted anywahere other than here or Twilighted, it is NOT me. Please e-mail me and let me know andgive the person who stle it hell.

Thanks

Amanda


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